Family Feud (1999– )

Steve Harvey: Self - Host, Self - Hoat

Quotes 

• Host : Top four answers are on the board. We asked one hundred married men which of the seven dwarves describes your wife in bed?

  [both male contestants look at each other, shake their heads, and refuse to answer] 

• Host : Fill in the blank. When I was a kid, we didn't have... what?

  contestant : [buzzes in]  Shit?

• Host : Name a body part on a man that has grown a lot since he was sixteen.

  contestant : Penis

  [Steve Harvey looks shocked and slowly falls to his knees] 

  contestant : I said the medical term!

  Host : You could have used ding-a-ling or winky!

• Host : Something a burglar wouldn't want to see when he breaks into a house.

  Windham, Rod : [Rod buzzes in first] 

  Host : Rod.

  Windham, Rod : Naked grandma.

  Host : Naked huh?

  [completely stunned] 

  Juan : I don't wanna see that either.

  Host : I know you're right. Nobody wants to see a naked grandma. What are the chances, breaking into a house and your grandma be naked.

• Host : [after the answers were revealed about what a married man would do for sex are 1-pay 2-kill 3-beg 4-die and 5-lie]  We'll buy it, we'll kill your body, we'll beg you for it, we'll lie about it, and at the end of the day, we'll lay down our life for it!

• Host : [approaching the next member of a family during a round]  Meghan, name something you put in your mouth but you don't swallow.

  Host : [looks at her]  Wow. You ever walked up to somebody, and saw the look on their face, and you just know? I walked up to her and I went 'whoa'. I mean, man, talk about the cat that ate the canary look.