Tenacious D (1997–2000)

Paul F. Tompkins: Paul

Quotes 

• Paul : Hey guys, guys, guys, um, listen, can you take next week off?

  Jack Black : You think we need a break?

  Paul : Actually, I think we need a break.

• Paul : Ok, up next, these two guys have been here for the last couple weeks. They asked me to read this: "Warning. If you want your asses blown out, stay in the room." Ladies and gentlemen, Tenacious D.

• Paul : Ok, this next act asked me to read this. "Black Sabbath, Iron Maiden, and Molly Hatchet could not be here tonight, but they all had sex and are proud to announce the birth of their two-headed baby, Tenacious D."

• Paul : Ok, the next band asked me to read this. "Caution: The surgeon general of rock warns that viewing this band is equal to 29 orgasms." Here they are, Tenacious D.

• [Looking for Jack's guitar pick] 

  Kyle Gass : I got it.... no wait, that's a bottle cap

  Jack Black : Kyle. Did you look underneath THE BAR?

  Kyle Gass : Yeah, nothing.

  Paul : Ok, you guys, seriously, sincerely, you have to get out of here. We're closed.

  Jack Black : Look, tomorrow when you're cleaning the floor if you find...

  Paul : We only clean on holidays.

• Paul : There's a cover charge.

  Jack Black : Piece of the gate. Pro Gig.

  Paul : No, you'd actually have to pay the cover to get in.

  Kyle Gass : It's still a fuckin' road gig.