10 February 2020 | Davian_X
Well-shot but by-the-numbers Hawaiian sexercise
Ron Jeremy and Bill Milling both take a vacation in HEART THROBS, a nearly plotless Hawaii-shot sex flick and the fourth entry in Milling's ALL-AMERICAN GIRLS series.
Along with genre godfather Harry Reems, Sasha Gabor, Miles Long and Ron make up a quartet of cosmetics salesmen on a tropical getaway, ostensibly in Honolulu for a trade conference but quickly deciding to opt for more "direct-to-consumer" marketing on the beach. That's about all she wrote in terms of plot, as the four split up and undertake a campaign to single-handedly double the island's population.
With so many (particularly latter-day) porn chic productions confined to homes and soundstages, THROBS' gorgeous location photography makes it pop. Numerous sexual encounters take place in gorgeous tropical locales, and they all look like a million bucks. Pity there wasn't more narrative to ground them. Despite taking nearly 8 minutes to get to its first sex scene (the opening, where the guys arrive at their rental, plays like a bawdier riff on an '80s T&A sex romp), the set-up proves essentially incidental: the guys mention their new product (sexy lipstick) precisely once before it's forgotten. I'm not saying every porno needs a plot like DOUBLE INDEMNITY, but a little motivation between sex scenes would be nice.
Speaking of which, the scenes themselves are apportioned with baffling irregularity, with Jeremy dominating the majority while superstar Reems doesn't get a lick of action until the final reel. Novice salesman Long, the only attractive member of the male cast (depending on your taste for Reems' buff-daddy physique), is vexingly kept in bed with a sprained ankle for most of the film, and only gets one poorly shot bathtub sequence. (While the outdoor sex in this film sparkles, there seems to have been a total dearth of imagination inside - why film a scene in a bathtub and frame it so tightly you can't see where it's happening?) The female cast is utterly interchangeable, with none of the women given a hint of character or motivation, and overall, the whole film is basically a magazine spread come to life - glossy and visually alluring, yet utterly disposable.