Heart Throbs (1985)

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Four sales reps for the Amalgamated Cosmetics Co. go to Hawaii to test out the company's new Shocking Pink lipstick, which was developed to make women want to perform oral sex.


5.4/10
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10 February 2020 | Davian_X
4
| Well-shot but by-the-numbers Hawaiian sexercise
Ron Jeremy and Bill Milling both take a vacation in HEART THROBS, a nearly plotless Hawaii-shot sex flick and the fourth entry in Milling's ALL-AMERICAN GIRLS series.

Along with genre godfather Harry Reems, Sasha Gabor, Miles Long and Ron make up a quartet of cosmetics salesmen on a tropical getaway, ostensibly in Honolulu for a trade conference but quickly deciding to opt for more "direct-to-consumer" marketing on the beach. That's about all she wrote in terms of plot, as the four split up and undertake a campaign to single-handedly double the island's population.

With so many (particularly latter-day) porn chic productions confined to homes and soundstages, THROBS' gorgeous location photography makes it pop. Numerous sexual encounters take place in gorgeous tropical locales, and they all look like a million bucks. Pity there wasn't more narrative to ground them. Despite taking nearly 8 minutes to get to its first sex scene (the opening, where the guys arrive at their rental, plays like a bawdier riff on an '80s T&A sex romp), the set-up proves essentially incidental: the guys mention their new product (sexy lipstick) precisely once before it's forgotten. I'm not saying every porno needs a plot like DOUBLE INDEMNITY, but a little motivation between sex scenes would be nice.

Speaking of which, the scenes themselves are apportioned with baffling irregularity, with Jeremy dominating the majority while superstar Reems doesn't get a lick of action until the final reel. Novice salesman Long, the only attractive member of the male cast (depending on your taste for Reems' buff-daddy physique), is vexingly kept in bed with a sprained ankle for most of the film, and only gets one poorly shot bathtub sequence. (While the outdoor sex in this film sparkles, there seems to have been a total dearth of imagination inside - why film a scene in a bathtub and frame it so tightly you can't see where it's happening?) The female cast is utterly interchangeable, with none of the women given a hint of character or motivation, and overall, the whole film is basically a magazine spread come to life - glossy and visually alluring, yet utterly disposable.

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