A Knight's Tale (2001)

Alan Tudyk: Wat

Photos 

Quotes 

• Wat : You have been weighed.

  Roland : You have been measured.

  Kate : And you have absolutely...

  Chaucer : Been found wanting.

  William : Welcome to New World. God save you, if it is right that He should do so.

• Wat : [in a letter]  I miss you like the sun misses the flower. Like the sun misses the flower in the depths of winter. Instead of beauty to direct its light to the heart hardens like the frozen world your absence has banished me to.

• Wat : Uh, betray us, and I will fong you, until your insides are out, your outsides are in, your entrails will become your extrails I will w-rip... all the p... ung. Pain, lots of pain.

• Jocelyn : Better a silly girl with a flower than a silly boy with a horse and a stick.

  Wat : It's called a lance. Hello?

• Wat : Say something about her breasts.

  Roland : Yeah, you miss her breasts.

  William : Her breasts.

  Chaucer : Ye... yes, you... you could, umm... umm... but I... I would tend to look above her breasts, William.

  William : Well I... I miss her throat.

  Chaucer : Uh, still higher really, toward the heavens.

  Kate : The moon at least, her breasts were not that impressive.

• Wat : What do you mean, dead?

  Roland : The spark of his life is smothered in shite. His spirit is gone but his stench remains. Does that answer your question?

• Jocelyn : Sir Ulrick. What are you wearing to the ball tonight?

  William : Er... nothing...

  Jocelyn : Well, we shall cause a sensation, for I'll dress to match.

  William : [annoyed]  Don't you ever get tired of putting on clothes?

  Chaucer : [whispers]  I believe she was talking about taking them off, sir.

  Jocelyn : A flower is only as good as its petals. Don't you think?

  William : A flower is good for nothing. You can't eat a flower, a flower can't keep you warm...

  Jocelyn : And a rose never knocked a man off a horse either, did it?

  William : You're just a silly girl aren't you.

  Jocelyn : Better a silly girl with a flower, than a silly boy with a horse and a stick...

  [she walks away] 

  Wat : It's called a lance. Heellooo?

• Wat : I don't understand women.

  Chaucer : Nor do I. But they understand us. Well, maybe not you.

• Roland , Chaucer , Kate , Wat : [singing]  He's blond, he's pissed, he'll see you in the lists, Lichtenstein! Lichtenstein! He's blond, he's tanned, he comes from Gelderland, he comes from Gelderland! Gelderland, Gelderland, Gelderland... Gelderland, Gelderland, Gelderland...

• William : I've waited my whole life for this moment.

  Wat : You've waited your whole life for Sir Ector to shite himself to death?

• Chaucer : Geoffrey Chaucer's the name, writing's the game.

  [Turns away, turns back] 

  Chaucer : Chaucer? Geoffrey Chaucer, the writer?

  Wat : A what?

  Chaucer : A wha- a what? A writer. You know, I write, with ink and parchment. For a penny, I'll scribble you anything you want. From summons, decrees, edicts, warrants, patents of nobility. I've even been know to jot down a poem or two, if the muse descends. You've probably read my book? the Book of the Duchess?

  [They look at each other, shake their heads] 

  Chaucer : Fine. Well, it was allegorical.

  Roland : Well, we won't hold that against you, that's for every man to decide for himself.

• William : What do you think? Now that you know what I am?

  Jocelyn : To know what you are, William, would take a lifetime. One I am most willing to give. But right now you've got to run. There's nothing else to do. Run and I will run with you.

  William : Jocelyn, I cannot run. I'm a knight. And I will put myself to the hazard!

  Roland : A knight in your heart but not on paper. And paper's all that matters to them!

  Jocelyn : William, I love you. I love you. You... and I'm sorry but I won't see you led away, bound for the stocks.

  William : Oh, but you will see me run? No!

  Jocelyn : Damn your pride, William! It is you and only you that will not see you run!

  William : My pride is the only thing they can't take away from me!

  Jocelyn : But they can take it from you! They can and they will. Oh, they will. But love they cannot take.

  William : And... and where will we live? In... in my hovel? With the pigs inside in the winter so they won't freeze?

  Jocelyn : [crying]  Yes, William, with the pigs... with the pigs. The poor can marry for love.

  William : [angry]  Oh, Jocelyn, you speak of what you do not know!

  Jocelyn : William, I beg you! Please... run. Do it for love.

  William : [William turns around, looking desperately for support]  Roland, you would see me run?

  [Roland nods and looks down] 

  William : And you, Geoff?

  Chaucer : Yes, I wish you to with all the pieces of my heart.

  William : Wat, you and I, we aren't runners.

  Wat : [Wat smiles, but is holding back tears]  Yes... William, today we are.

  Kate : Run, William.

  William : NO!

  [Jocelyn closes her eyes, tears leaking down her cheeks] 

  William : I will not run! I am a knight!

• Wat : All right, I'm about this fonging close mate! I swear to God, Quaisimodo! I oughta...

• Wat : We're the sons of peasants. Glory, and riches, and stars are beyond our grasps. But a full stomach, that dream can come true.

• William : For that I say my rosary to her and no-one else.

  Wat : Will, that's blasphemy.

• Wat : We're English, Geoff! We know who he is!

• [Watching William practice jousting] 

  Wat : I think he's getting worse.

  Roland : He is getting worse.