Little Nicky (2000)

Adam Sandler: Nicky

Photos 

Quotes 

• John : Hey, by the way, Nicky, check this out, what's Ozzy tryin' to say there?

  Nicky : John, absolutely nothing, the blizzard always came straight with his messages, but wrap your minds around this, gentlemen.

  [Pulls out a Chicago album] 

  Nicky : Chicago!

  Todd : I love this song.

  Voice Of The Demons : I command you in the name of Lucifer to spread the blood of the innocent!

  Peter : Oh my God, Chicago kicks ass!

• Nicky : I'm from the South. The Deep South.

• Ozzy Osbourne : Hahahahaha!

  Nicky : Ozzy?

  Adrian : Holy shit.

  [Bat Adrian gets taken by Ozzy] 

  Townie : You can do it, Ozzy! Bite his freakin' head off!

• Jimmy the Demon : You were gone ten seconds, what happened?

  Nicky : I got hit by this big light that was attached to a lot of metal.

  Satan : That's a train, son, don't stand in front of them.

  Nicky : Well, I'll have to take a mulligan on this one.

• Mr. Beefy : Put it in your mouth. Now move your teeth up and down. Up and down. Good, numb-nuts. Now you gotta swallow it. Just tilt your head back and let the meat slide down your throat hole. Easy, don't choke.

  Nicky : [Nicky swallows the chicken tender]  Popeye's chicken is fucking awesome!

  Mr. Beefy : Uh-huh. Now, eat up. You're gonna need your energy.

  Nicky : I got energy up the yin-yang! Let's go save dad! Adrian! Cassius!

  [he gets hit by a bus] 

  Mr. Beefy : Oh, boy.

• Gatekeeper : Are there boobs on my head?

  Nicky : Yeah, big ones.

• Nicky : Release the good.

  [shoots rainbows out of hands and group of bunnies appear] 

  Nicky : Yes, they're furry.

  Demon : Bunny, Bunny, Bunny, Bunny!

• Nicky : I never been to Earth, Dad! I never even slept over some other dude's house!

• Satan : I'm sorry. After careful consideration, I regretfully have to decline.

  Dan Marino : C'mon, man, I'm just asking, let me win one Superbowl.

  Satan : In exchange for eternal damnation of your soul? You're too nice of a guy for me to want to do that to you, Mr. Marino.

  Dan Marino : You did it for Namath.

  Satan : Yeah, but Joe was coming here anyways.

  Dan Marino : This sucks. I'll just go to the Superbowl as an announcer, and I'll win myself an Emmy!

  Satan : That's the spirit!

  Nicky : You're a good devil, dad.

  Satan : And I also happen to be a Jets fan.

• Nicky : Can I wash my winky in your kitchen sinky?

• Deacon : The Hell Beast is above us and I can smell an evil slut!

  [he gets hit by a blown-up fire hydrant] 

  Deacon : Whoa, Devil!

  Valerie : Did you do that?

  Nicky : Nobody calls my girl an evil slut.

• Nicky : So where did you meet Dad?

  Holly : It was a long time ago at this heaven/hell mixer.

  Christa : I remember that night. You had like four daiquiris.

• Adrian : I'm going to kill you with my bare hands.

  Nicky : I'm ready for ya'.

  [Adrian punches Nicky] 

  Nicky : I guess I wasn't ready.

• Nicky : How can I win? Adrian is stronger and smarter than me.

  Holly : Stronger? Yes. Smarter? Definitely. But, you have something that he doesn't have.

  Nicky : A speech impediment?

• Cassius : That was sick. Who taught you that shit?

  Nicky : Sorry, Cassius. It must be the super devil juice my dad gave me.

  Cassius : Super devil juice? Gimme that, little girl!

  Nicky : Don't drink out of it, please!

  [Cassius gets sucked into the flask] 

• Nicky : Adrian, you froze the fire gate, and dad is dying. So, get your booty back home or else!

  Adrian : You can't talk tough, Nicky. Even the voice inside your head has a speech impediment.

• Chubbs : You mambo?

  Nicky : No, I don't think so.

  Chubbs : It's all in the hips, it's all in the hips, it's all in the hips...

• Nicky : That's not me! That's that cockroach Tony Montana!

  Mr. Beefy : He superimposed your head into Scarface.

  Todd : Which is probably DePalma's third best film.

• Nicky : [after going to heaven]  What is this? Is it Dad's birthday?

• Nicky : Get in the flask!

  Popeye's Cashier : What're you talkin' about, man?

  Nicky : I'm talkin' about an 8-piece, let's go!

• Nicky : You want a pillow fight, do ya? Then let's let the feathers fly!

• Todd : I'm freaked out. My television just blew up.

  Nicky : You're damn right it did!... I mean, "really?"

• Todd : You know, this cake tastes kind of funny.

  John : Oh yeah, I dumped a fat sack of reefer into the mix. I thought I'd spice up the batch.

  Mr. Beefy : Really?

  Nicky : What's reefer?

  Mr. Beefy : About five hundred bucks an ounce.

• Nicky : [speaking in Korean to vendors]  A thousand good mornings to you, my friends!

  Korean Vendor : [speaking to wife in Korean]  You grab him, I'll punch him in the dick until he passes out.

  Korean Vendor : [repeatedly in Korean]  Monster!

• Nicky : [after being told he needs to die]  I'll just go to Heaven!

  Mr. Beefy : Not if you do something bad right before you die!

  Townie : Hey, Nicky. Cover Winkler in bees! You can do it!

  Nicky : [sees Winkler covered with bee stings]  Sorry, Henry!

• Street Vendor : How would I have it unless I was in fact a thief?

  Nicky : I don't know.

  Customer : [Following dialogue is from a deleted scene]  Ooh. How much for the silver flask there?

  Street Vendor : Ah, my man. Business, business, business. That's a special item selling. The cap alone is one hundred percent pure... plappium.

  Nicky : Plappium?

  Street Vendor : It's valued at over three hundred dollars.

  Customer : Really? Where-where is it from?

  Nicky : It was handcrafted in Hell by Satan himself, and its sole purpose is to get the Fireball of Hades burning once again.

  Customer : I'm gonna keep looking.

• Nicky : [Nicky sees his deteriorated father]  Oh, my God, dad!

  Satan : Nicky, I got no legs, I got no hips, I got one ear!

  [His left ear detached] 

  Satan : I got no ears!

  Jimmy the Demon : Now, he has no ears. Are you happy, Nicky?

  Nicky : Adrian's got the whole city following me.

  Satan : I can't hear you, Nicky! I can't hear anything!

  Jimmy the Demon : [Talking to Satan's detached ear]  Check one-two. One-two.

  Satan : Put it back on my head!

  Jimmy the Demon : [Jimmy puts Satan's ear back on]  Hey. If you look to him, you got 'til midnight tonight. Now, you get your ass back up there and you save your father. Go!

  Nicky : I'm gonna save you, dad!

  Satan : Nicky!

  Jimmy the Demon : Go, go, go, go, go!

  Nicky : I'm gonna save you!

  Jimmy the Demon : Move it, move it! Go, Nicky, go!

• Todd : Were you about to drink one of my cokes?

  Nicky : No, I was just looking at it. It's beautiful.

  Todd : [giving Nicky a dirty look as he takes a sip]  This coke tastes like pepsi.

• Mr. Beefy : Look, it's okay for me to shit in the street, but you gotta use a toilet.

  Nicky : Okay.

• Valerie : Nicky!

  Nicky : Valerie!

  Valerie : What are you doing?

  Nicky : I think I'm floating.

  Valerie : Why would you be floating?

  Nicky : Maybe it's because of this cake I ate earlier.

• Nicky : [Waking up; in a grandmother-like voice to a group of people]  I will eat your heart.

• Nicky : Good luck with the nipple rubbing!

  Nipples : [rubbing nipples]  I don't need luck! I'm gooood!

• Nicky : Yo, fossil-head! I got a bone to pick with you!

• Nicky : [after preacher runs away screaming about burning up, Nicky turns to speak to Mr. Beefy]  I don't know what that guy's problem is, it's freezing up here!

• Nicky : [Deleted scene; Nicky sees Beefy defecate]  Man, that was intense! And it happens every day?

  Mr. Beefy : Look, it's okay for me to shit in the street, but you gotta use a toilet.

  Nicky : Yeah? Well, just point me in the right direction next time.

  Mr. Beefy : Come on. There's like ten million people in this city and the clock is ticking.

  Nicky : Well, let's rock and roll, then!

• Nicky : [Deleted scene; Nicky is seen telling an officer to get in the flask]  Adrian, is that you? Get in the flask!

  Beating Cop : Beat it.

  Nicky : Uh-huh.

  [He leaves before returning] 

  Nicky : Cassius, come on. What's going on?

  Beating Cop : I said, beat it!

  Nicky : Alright.

  [He leaves again before returning] 

  Nicky : That's it. Just so you...

  [He gets repeatedly beaten by the officer] 

  Nicky : What the hell's your problem?

  [He gets beaten again] 

  Mr. Beefy : This may take a while.

• Nicky : [Deleted scene; he gets hit by a wino]  Ow! What did you do that for?

  Bum in Alley : [He holds up a newspaper while drunk]  Fifty million dollars!

  Nicky : That's a lot.

• Angel #3 : [Deleted scene; in Heaven]  Hi, Holly! What's up?

  Holly : Hi! They're not my friends. We just let them use the terrace.

  Nicky : Is this cake made out of Reefer?

  Holly : Drugs aren't cool in Heaven. Right, Jenna?

  Christa : Hey, Nicky. Would you like something from the Hostess tree? Pink Snowball, Ho-Ho, Cupcake?

  Nicky : No, thanks. I'm okay.

  Jenna : They're fat-free in Heaven.

  Nicky : That's alright. I appreciate that. So, are you Adrian and Cassius' mom, too?

  Christa : No! Their mothers were not angels.

  Holly : Yeah, they were like hookers or like, strippers or something really porno-like.

  Nicky : Porno?

• Satan : [Deleted scene; Satan is dancing to a Pink Floyd track at his throne room before Nicky turns it off]  Now, that was an experience. "You are only coming through in waves." That line blows my mind every time. I don't care what mood you're in the start of that song. When it's finished, that mood had been altered.

  Nicky : Besides, like a trip. Like a trip!

  Satan : Whew. Great shit. What's next?

  Nicky : Well, I figured after messing with your mind a little bit, I might as well give you a kick in the keister.

  [Nicky puts on Enter Sandman by Metallica] 

  Satan : Who is this, Metal-lic-a?

  Nicky : It was Metallica, dad! Come on!

  Satan : I was just playing with you.

• Nicky : [deleted scene; Nicky takes the microphone]  Listen up, New York! Your souls are in great danger!

  Fan : I hate you!

  [He throws a hot dog at Nicky] 

  John : If anyone else throws a hot dog, I'll break their necks!

  Peter : Right.

  Nicky : Okay, how about this? I get one more shot. The ref can cover me. If I miss it, the Globetrotters have to forfeit. But if I make it, this guy doesn't ref the second half and we all start conducting ourselves as decent human beings again.

  [the crowd is silent] 

  Nicky : And we get free pizza!

  [the crowd roars in joy] 

  Bill Walton : I think it's safe to say we're already rooting for a bizarre and hideous looking man.

  [he grabs an elder woman's wig to cover his burnt hair] 

  John , Peter : Nicky, Nicky, Nicky!

  [the crowd joins their chanting] 

  Whitey the Referee : Whoop-dee-doo.

• Mr. Beefy : Go get a soda out of the fridge.

  Nicky : But those are my roommate's sodas.

  Mr. Beefy : [mocking Nicky sarcastically]  "But those are my roommate's sodas.." Does that sound like a statement the son of the devil would make?

• Nipples : Oh, hello.

  Nicky : That dude looks like a lady.

  Nipples : You wanna come in?

  Nicky : Actually, I'm--I'm looking for a girl named Valerie.

  Nipples : [curtly, disappointed]  Valerie Veran? 2 floors up, 1 window over.

  Nicky : Thanks much. Good luck with the nipple rubbing.

  Nipples : I don't need any luck. I'm good,

  [squeals] 

  Nipples : Ooh!

• Cassius : [alternate scene]  Hey, how's daddy's little girl doing today?

  Nicky : Oh, I didn't see you guys over there. What's up?

  [Cassius snaps his fingers] 

  Cassius : You want to Mind Wrestle?

  Nicky : Actually, I'm alright. I was thinking of chilling by the Throne Room for a bit.

  [He gets mind wrestled by Cassius] 

  Cassius : Gotcha!

  Nicky : Yeah, yeah, you got me.

  [Nicky gets mind wrestled again] 

  Nicky : Hat trick, good one!

  Cassius : Now, here's the big finish!

  Nicky : No, please! Don't... do... this!

  [the mind wrestling makes Nicky cause self harm towards his head and groin; making Adrian laugh] 

  Satan : What are you boys doing?

  [Cassius stops mind wrestling his brother] 

  Nicky : Nothing, dad. Cassius was just giving my face and balls a massage.