Little Nicky (2000)

Robert Smigel: Beefy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Mr. Beefy : Put it in your mouth. Now move your teeth up and down. Up and down. Good, numb-nuts. Now you gotta swallow it. Just tilt your head back and let the meat slide down your throat hole. Easy, don't choke.

  Nicky : [Nicky swallows the chicken tender]  Popeye's chicken is fucking awesome!

  Mr. Beefy : Uh-huh. Now, eat up. You're gonna need your energy.

  Nicky : I got energy up the yin-yang! Let's go save dad! Adrian! Cassius!

  [he gets hit by a bus] 

  Mr. Beefy : Oh, boy.

• Mr. Beefy : [shoots an arrow out of his penis and hits Adrian]  Now that hurt the both of us.

• Nicky : That's not me! That's that cockroach Tony Montana!

  Mr. Beefy : He superimposed your head into Scarface.

  Todd : Which is probably DePalma's third best film.

• Todd : You know, this cake tastes kind of funny.

  John : Oh yeah, I dumped a fat sack of reefer into the mix. I thought I'd spice up the batch.

  Mr. Beefy : Really?

  Nicky : What's reefer?

  Mr. Beefy : About five hundred bucks an ounce.

• Nicky : [after being told he needs to die]  I'll just go to Heaven!

  Mr. Beefy : Not if you do something bad right before you die!

  Townie : Hey, Nicky. Cover Winkler in bees! You can do it!

  Nicky : [sees Winkler covered with bee stings]  Sorry, Henry!

• Mr. Beefy : That'S your big transformation? You turned a coke into a pepsi?

• Mr. Beefy : Look, it's okay for me to shit in the street, but you gotta use a toilet.

  Nicky : Okay.

• Mr. Beefy : You love acting, I love pissing.

• Mr. Beefy : Yeah I had a weak back... about a week back! Ahahahaha!

• Nicky : [Deleted scene; Nicky sees Beefy defecate]  Man, that was intense! And it happens every day?

  Mr. Beefy : Look, it's okay for me to shit in the street, but you gotta use a toilet.

  Nicky : Yeah? Well, just point me in the right direction next time.

  Mr. Beefy : Come on. There's like ten million people in this city and the clock is ticking.

  Nicky : Well, let's rock and roll, then!

• Nicky : [Deleted scene; Nicky is seen telling an officer to get in the flask]  Adrian, is that you? Get in the flask!

  Beating Cop : Beat it.

  Nicky : Uh-huh.

  [He leaves before returning] 

  Nicky : Cassius, come on. What's going on?

  Beating Cop : I said, beat it!

  Nicky : Alright.

  [He leaves again before returning] 

  Nicky : That's it. Just so you...

  [He gets repeatedly beaten by the officer] 

  Nicky : What the hell's your problem?

  [He gets beaten again] 

  Mr. Beefy : This may take a while.

• Mr. Beefy : Say Mr. Beefy! Say it! Say it!

  Female Dog : [in an exhausted tone]  Mr. Beefy.

  Mr. Beefy : And... I love you!

• Mr. Beefy : [Alternate scene]  Remember, it's not the size of the boat. It's the motion in the ocean.

  Female Dog : [in an exhausted tone]  Just finish.

  Mr. Beefy : And... we're done.

• Mr. Beefy : Go get a soda out of the fridge.

  Nicky : But those are my roommate's sodas.

  Mr. Beefy : [mocking Nicky sarcastically]  "But those are my roommate's sodas.." Does that sound like a statement the son of the devil would make?

• Todd : You know, I was in love once, but she said I wasn't financially reliable and she needed that.

  John : Now by "she" do you mean "he"?

  Todd : No.

  Mr. Beefy : [laughing]  Busted!