Matthew Blackheart: [Considering his comic-book image] I look like an ad for outdoor leisure wear.

Jimmy Fleming: Now this, this Mortas dude... Do you really think he's still alive? Hmm? And if he was... that'd make him, what... a hundred and ten? Kind of like Merv Griffin.

Matthew Blackheart: [about his date] She's the kind of girl who could make a minister kick out a stained glass window.

Jimmy Fleming: You know, you've got kind of that "Rip Van Winkle Meets the Picture of Dorian Grey" thing going on, you know that, don't you?

Matthew Blackheart: Someone took my life from me like a thief in the night.