Various Characters: [Dating Agency Video] I'm looking for a man who's really attractive, but doesn't know it. Who's really sensitive, but can be really tough when I want. Who's got a high powered job, but isn't motivated by money. Who's got a big penis, but doesn't feel like he has to use all of it. And he's got to be able to fly.
Various Characters: [OCD Doctor] I don't want to look at your stitches!
Various Characters: ["Run around" song] Thinking is for wankers; we're born, we dance, we die!
Various Characters: Sorry, my boyfriend just dumped me, can I borrow yours?
Various Characters: I like crossing my eyes until I see a big purple monster.
Various Characters: [Vet] So this is?
Various Characters: Harry.
Various Characters: And Harry is...?
Various Characters: Not very happy.
Various Characters: Clearly. And Harry is... a?
Various Characters: Hamster!
Various Characters: Yes, of course.
Various Characters: Hamster, Hamster, Hamster!
Various Characters: What is it with me? What is it with you? Quit busting my ass for five minutes here!
Various Characters: Both surfaces must be dried before the glue is applied.
Various Characters: Let's try it with just the voice, okay? Both surfaces must be dried before the glue is applied!
Various Characters: Pierce film lid in several places! Got it!
Various Characters: [Dating Video] I'M THE QUIET ONE!
Various Characters: [Dating Vid] Hello, I'm Ros, before we go any further I feel that I should be open - BIG RED TRACTOR - about one particular aspect of myself. There is something in my life - Fencing FENCING - that is just too - EGG - significant not too - BIG EGG - mention. I know it puts some people off, but I would - IT DOES EXACTLY WHAT IT SAYS ON THE TIN - need you, whoever you are, to accept - WICKERWORK - me as I am - BULLY - as a Christian.
Various Characters: [Lesbian Kiss Scene] Could someone call my boyfriend and tell him I love him?
Various Characters: They're out there. They look just like you. They're Cousins. And you're probably not allowed to have sex with them. Or are you?
Angel: [Hanging around outside the Church after everyone else has gone home... ]
Various Characters: WAAAH! I want to do my Plan! If you don't let me do my Plan, I'm going to hold my breath until I die!
Singer: Where does our love lie? In the middle of nowhere. Will it still pass me by? In the middle of nowhere. Oh won't you tell me, what am I to do? I'm in the middle of nowhere, gettin' nowhere with you.
Various Characters: Here we are at Poet's Leap, where our hero threw himself to his death, for the love of one Daisy Winthrop. Who, ironically enough, was quite a plain girl! Ha!
[Falls over the Cliff]
Various Characters: [Dating Video, bored] I like Cars, I like Football, I like Science Fiction, I like Golf- Fuck it, Golf? I hate Golf! I can't do this...
Various Characters: [Dating Video] I am making Art! I am making Art! I am making Art! I am making Art! I am a Veil, a Bull, Moo, A Veil. I am a Veil a Bull!
Various Characters: It would certainly be nice to have a fresh pair of legs!
Various Characters: Doctor, instead of removing a little fat from the eyelid area, you seem to have cut off my arm and replaced it with a rusty metal spike.
Various Characters: [Russian Camgirl] Sexy, Sexy Proletariat!
Various Characters: [Franglais Singers] Hey Mister, Wait Mister, Wait Mister, Stay Mister!
Various Characters: [handed an Atlas] Oh, yeah, right! Like someone's really drawn out all the Countries in a book!
Various Characters: Perfect Girlfriend? She's getting it somewhere else.
Captions: Crap Job? No money? Not getting enough sex? Be a Prostitute!
Various Characters: [Victory fist pump, gets in the car]
Clapperboard: Right Up Inside.
Captions: Nurses! Not as much fun as you'd think.
Various Characters: I'm in your fridge!
Various Characters: [surrounded by Nude Portraits] I couldn't let anyone see them! I've got my tits out!
Various Characters: I could be like that water-carrying girl in the Jungle Book!