[opening narration]

Deacon Jones: A man torn from his family, murdered in his prime, only to return to Earth, resurrected as an agent of the Almighty Corps. With no magic, no special powers, forbidden from intimate contact, unrecognizable to those from their past lives, Chandler Smythe and Henry McNeil now fight to save lost souls against the minions of darkness. It is a battle of Good versus Evil. G vs E, that's what it is!

Deacon Jones: My life has been plagued by quarterbacks and Morlocks, not necessarily in that order.

Deacon Jones: My life has been infiltrated; by quarterbacks and Morlocks, not necessarily in that order.

Chandler Smythe: Who's Jacobus Blitzer?

C. Arthur Foust: Who's Jacobus Blitzer?

Henry McNeil: You don't know who Jacobus Blitzer is?

Chandler Smythe: I went to public school.

Deacon Jones: I'd like to quote to you a passage from War and Peace. Violence in its many forms is an involuntary quest for identity, and when that identity is threatened, we have a mandate for war. War ladies and Gentlemen, that's what we're fighting.