Ticker (2001)

During one of my frequent visits to IMDb, I checked out Albert Pyun's page of cinematic offenses, and noticed that the guy is responsible for at least half of what I would call the worst movies of the 90's. He has now moved into the 21st century with a new bomb, appropriately called Ticker.

I try to give as much credit as possible to filmmakers, as I know how difficult it can be to even get a film off the ground. And considering the calibre of actors appearing in Ticker, I was fully prepared to give credit to veteran director Albert Pyun (if credit were due.)

It isn't.

As someone else already mentioned, it is amazing that this guy still finds people to finance his "films." I can name of the top of my head a few people who could all have made better entertainment with that squandered budget: me, my mother, my grandmother, hey even my cat...

I am also amazed that actors such as Tom Sizemore, Dennis Hopper and yes, even Steven Seagal would appear in such films. Sizemore and Hopper, in the hands of worthy directors, are superb. In the hands of Pyun, look like there having no fun at all and subsequently do little to help an already pathetic film such as this.

The plot: A mad bomber (Dennis Hopper) is (for reasons unclear blowing up the city.) Tom Sizemore is the detective out to stop him, with or without the aid of the zen preaching leader of the bomb squad (Steven Seagal.) add also the beautiful Jamey Preissly as the Hopper's girlfriend who is detained by Sizemore. There is also a bunch of insignifigant bombers in black swat suits (led by Ice T) and a bunch of other guys in black swat suits whom are really members of the swat team making them impossible to distinguish. In other words, this is one big mess in desperate need of some talented direction.

But I do recommend Ticker. I had a great laugh watching it, seeing Seagal using 10 seconds to waddle down 6 stairs while being shot at by a group of men 20 feet away with M16 rifles and hitting nothing, listening to Hopper's Irish accent appear, disappear, reappear and so on, watching the evacuation of a town hall (government building of some kind, it wasn't clear) when what we are shown is a night club evac scene lifted directly out of another film, and hundreds of other serious and obvious inconsistencies unfold before your eyes. For the purpose of hilarity and ridicule, Ticker is great fun, and lands firmly in the category of "so bad it's good."