Ray: Your cousin May is dumb like a horse, or a dog or something.
Ray: Ever heard of the Polish carpool? Every day they meet at work.
Benny: You know what I say? She gets a share, but not a full share.
Tommy: I'd go for that. Yeah.
Denny: Yeah, what if we each get a fourth and she gets, like, a third?
Benny: What are you? Nuts? Then she'd be getting more than us!
Denny: How do you figure?
Benny: Where are you gonna get four fourths and a third? Can't you add?
Denny: I don't do fractions, all right?
Ray: It's Louie the 14th, or Louie the 15th. I don't know how high the Louie's go, actually.
Ray: Pretty late.
Frenchy: Yeah, you too. What did you do?
Ray: I, you know, I worked late... and then May and me had some Chinese food.
Frenchy: You and May? What'd you talk about over dinner? Cartoons?
Ray: Are you kiddin'? We went up to her apartment. We watched "White Heat" on television.
Frenchy: Till 3 a.m.?
Ray: No. Then we went out and we got a pizza.
Frenchy: Chinese food and a pizza? With your stomach, I'm surprised you weren't shot breaking into the Pepto-Bismol factory.
Ray: I get a bad vibe about this guy, David. It's my street instinct, but I just don't trust him.
May Sloane: Yeah, I know why. Because he's younger than you are, handsomer than you are, he's much taller than you are, he's smarter than you are, he's much more exciting than you are...
Ray: May, don't feel obligated to pull any punches with me. I can take it.
Frenchy: Well, I wanna be the real thing! And you better wise up, 'cause if I grow and you stay as stupid as you are, we're gonna have big problems, Ray!
Ray: What are you, a stroke victim?
Frenchy: [on her company's expansion] That's right, yeah. We've been planning it for months. Yeah?
Frenchy's Lawyer: In order to do that, you needed a bank loan. Are you aware of that? Quite a substantial loan.
Frenchy: Get to the point. What?
Frenchy's Lawyer: They asked you to sign a promissory note to the bank.
Frenchy: You're speaking to the wrong person. This is exactly what I got accountants for.
Frenchy's Lawyer: Yes, but unfortunately, your accountants are in Venezuela.
Frenchy: This is all so confusing!
Frenchy's Lawyer: Frances, you put up your home and savings as a note for a monster loan.
Frenchy: [pauses, then holds out her whiskey glass] Could you put a touch of cyanide in here? It needs to be a little stronger.
Frenchy's Lawyer: You've lost it all, Frenchy. Or should I say, you've been swindled out of it all.
Frenchy: You mean I got...?
Frenchy's Lawyer: Nothing, Mrs. Winkler. You have nothing. No... no house, no bank account, just a couple of large, outstanding loans which we feel you can best deal with by filing for bankruptcy.
Frenchy: Bankruptcy? Bankruptcy? I'm not up to the B-words yet!
Frenchy: What are you waiting for, the drilling season?
Frenchy: All right, all right, hold your water.
Frenchy: They say I have a flair for decorating. You know this rug lights up? It's made of fiber optics. I'll turn it on later. Stevens, what's with the snails?
Frenchy: Hey, It was you who taught me how to open a safe.
Ray: That was one of my fondest memories of our time together... What are you saying? You boosted this from David's safe? Frenchy, that's stealing.
Frenchy: Not exactly. Look, it's a long story, Ray. Let's sell it, and I'll fill you in on the flight to Miami.
Ray: Sweetheart, you are the greatest.
David: I'm talking about Henry James, the author. Yeah? Well, this is where he lived and this is where he worked.
Ray: Where did he eat? I'm hungry. I don't care where he lived. I want to know where he ate.
Frenchy: I remember! "The Hair-ess", right?
David: The "H" is silent.
Frenchy: Oh, did he write that too?
Ray: What is this?
Frenchy: It's a Damon Dexter. A discovery of David's.
Ray: Yeah? I say it's depressing.
Frenchy: Knock it off. You wouldn't know a masterpiece if it bit you in the ass.
Ray: I refuse to look at this, Frenchy.
Frenchy: And what's that supposed to mean?
Ray: It means as long as this is there on the wall, I don't look at that wall.
Ray: I think she's developing a crush on her teacher, David.
May Sloane: Yeah. Well, you know, he's very good-looking, and he's really bright and very charming. And he's very elegant...
Ray: Okay, May, I got the picture. It's all right.
May Sloane: Well, when you're right, you're right.
Ray: Thank you.
May Sloane: It was a really tragic story, because my husband, Otto, was dyslexic, and the only thing he could spell correctly was his name.
May Sloane: I met a wonderful man downstairs. He seemed to like me. He said I reminded him of his wife who's dead. But I assume he meant when she was alive.
Ray: We make chicken-chip cookies, ahhhh... tuna mint.
Frenchy: Ya know who's going to eat this? Me!
Frenchy: Well I wanna be the real thing! and you better wise up coz if grow and you stay as stupid as you are we're gonna have big problems Ray!
Frenchy: The sweep kills me.
Frenchy: Close your bazoo!
May Sloane: Do either of you play miniature golf?