The Puppet File

Jon Woods is a pornographer toiling away in the bondage/fetish genre who occasionally delivers a satisfying little feature. Not this time, in the silly, repetitious "The Puppet File".

Title derives from spoofing popular children's programming, not specifically The Muppets but close enough. The juxtaposition of kiddie shows and dirty old men is a frequent porn theme, with the real-life case of Pee Wee Herman busted for jerking off in the audience of a porn theater playing a Sandra Scream movie, and getting caught having cemented this contrast in racial memory.

Problem is that Woods laboriously sets up his premise and then, like all hack pornographers, arbitrarily drops it. The cute if cheap little hand puppets portraying TV star Dirty Delbert and his sidekick reminded me more of Soupy Sales than Jim Henson, but that starting point was fun.

The star puppet is kidnapped and held for ransom, with our intrepid Nancy Drew heroine Annabell Dayne working at the Woods Mutual Indemnity Co., and investigating to avoid her firm having to make a $2,000,000 ransom payout. Plenty of tying up and bondage scenes ensue as a dastardly couple (blonde Morgan Phoenix and evil Leonard Ayresteel) are revealed as the schemers. Non-ending is disappointing.

Short feature is padded for release with the addition of "3 studies" of pretty Ashley Rene. Oglng her in various stages of undress is equivalent to the staring act the viewer must perform during the very dull main feature.