22 May 2017 | Vartiainen
What in the name of all that is unholy...
Bartok gets his own spin-off? Bartok!? That little white bat from Anastasia. Out of all Don Bluth films and characters, this one was the one that simply had to have a movie of his own?
I mean... it's Bartok. What more is there to say?
We could have had another Land Before Time movie. (Oh wait, we had... Several. And they all "inhaled".) Another The Secret of NIMH. (Had that one as well, actually. It "inhaled" even more.) Another American Tail. (That one was actually pretty good...) Another... The Pebble and the Penguin? (We don't have one of those. Thank Cthulhu!)
You know, the more I think about this, the less awful in principle it actually sounds.
So, long insane rambling aside, is the film any good?
It's not... awful. What I mean, it's not good either, don't get me wrong. No miracles were performed here. The skies didn't part, the trumpets didn't sound, no babies were born with white-feathered wings sticking out of their teeny tiny shoulder blades. But it is better than it has any right to be. It's colourful, looks pretty damn great given the no doubt small budget, and the characters are... non-offensive.
That being said, it's boring. Beyond boring. And given that it has talking bears, Baba Yaga, mythical quests, kings, queens, dragons and all that usual jazz, that's something of an achievement. Movie has to try to be this boring. For example, you'd think that stealing a crown from a huge, flaming fire giant smith would be at least a little bit exciting. Right? It's not. One of the dullest action scenes I've seen in my life. It's sort of amazing.
So, summa summarum, the film has its upsides, but it's still not something I'd recommend to anyone. But, if it was on TV and a little kid needed his daily fix of that sweet, sweet pixelated voodoo, I probably wouldn't change the channel.