Banner in the back of Stanley's van: I'm the guy your mother warned you about.
Stanley: [on his answering machine] I'm not here and I can't afford voice mail, I'm just a writer. what do you want?
Stanley: My dogs! I wonder if they're alright? Whoa!
[pushes woman into the back of his van]
Stanley: [to Kimberley] If you have to go to the hospital, you don't want to be caught wearing dirty underwear.