Banner in the back of Stanley's van: I'm the guy your mother warned you about.

Stanley: [on his answering machine] I'm not here and I can't afford voice mail, I'm just a writer. what do you want?

Stanley: My dogs! I wonder if they're alright? Whoa!

[pushes woman into the back of his van]

Stanley: I'm doing research.

Regan: The damn film is going into production! What kind of research?

Stanley: Well, I've kidnapped a girl, and I'm holding her hostage to learn bits of character and motivation.

Stanley: [to Kimberley] If you have to go to the hospital, you don't want to be caught wearing dirty underwear.