14 July 2005 | GrampsSeth
Hopping . . . Hopping . . . Hopping . . . Hopping . . . Hopping
This is the only movie that I have ever watched that was so painful that I was physically unable to watch the movie in its entirety. (I skipped a 20 min section near the end) At the beginning of the film a UFO flies around and causes a bunch of zombies to rise up out of the ground. Sadly, these zombies are not like traditional American-horror-film zombies at all. They more closely resemble a bunch of 6 year old Japanese children covered in pasty white makeup. These zombies are seemingly unable to walk and only move by hopping through the entirety of the film. The director chose to dedicate large portions of the film showing the children hopping - incredibly slowly - as they move from one place to another.
While hopping through some city the children notice a girl getting kidnapped and spend the rest of the film trying to rescue her. They probably succeed at some point.
Strangely enough there is a totally unrelated plot line that gets about 2% of the total screen time that is scattered throughout the movie. Here, we find that the Devil is trying to kill some guy who knows martial arts for some reason.
The only redeeming aspect of the movie comes when this second plot line (as well as the movie) come to a hilarious and abrupt end.
The only question that remains is: Who are the Thunder Ninja Kids? Are they the zombie kids? They weren't very thundery and they weren't ninjas and they also weren't the ones who fought the Devil Boxer. Or was it the martial arts guy? However, even though he was young he's not young enough to be called a kid and there was only one of him, and he wasn't very thundery either. A friend who had watched the movie with me said that the Thunder Ninja Kids weren't in the movie at all. I don't know if that is true or not and I don't care.