Andromeda (2000–2005)

Gordon Michael Woolvett: Seamus Harper

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Seamus Harper : I just came here to apologize. I'm sorry. It won't happen again. Please, please don't give me the boot.

  Dylan Hunt : Well that's strike two. One more and you're out.

  Seamus Harper : Strike two? What was strike one?

  Dylan Hunt : Careful - forgetting strike one is enough to be strike three.

  Seamus Harper : Right. Now I remember strike one. That won't happen again either.

  Dylan Hunt : Dismissed.

  Seamus Harper : [to himself as he leaves]  What was strike one?

  Rommie : [after Harper leaves]  Dylan, what was strike one?

  Dylan Hunt : Well, there wasn't one, but he works better under pressure.

• Dylan Hunt : [Dylan speaks to Doyle]  It appears you're in a unique position.

  Seamus Harper : I'd like to get Doyle in a unique position.

  Dylan Hunt : [everyone glares at Harper]  Harper...

• Harper : Trust in the Harper. The Harper is good.

• Harper : I'm not deprived, I'm depraved.

• Trance Gemini : Y'know, since we've got a little bit of time here, we might as well find a good way to spend it. I know! I've got this really great game. It's called "Harper tells Trance everything, so she can save his miserable little life." Would you like to play?

  Harper : I hate you.

  Trance Gemini : You're just saying that.

• Seamus Harper : How do they mate? How do they date? I mean, come on, love is just a bunch of exaggerations and lies, all dolled up in pseudo-poetic language, uttered preferably while intoxicated, and all for the singular, universal purpose of... uh, you know.

  Trance Gemini : Harper, you're a born romantic.

  Seamus Harper : Sometimes there are flowers.

• Harper : Cry me a river and drown in it!

• Seamus Harper : These slipstream drives are a lot easier to break than they are to fix.

  Dylan Hunt : My chief engineer called it "job security."

• Seamus Harper : We needed a Plan B. *You* always have a Plan B.

  Dylan Hunt : Yes, but my Plan B's work.

• Beka Valentine : The suspense is killing me.

  Tyr Anasazi : The suspense isn't what's going to kill you.

  Harper : Yeah, well, the suspense already owes me a new pair of shorts.

• Harper : Wait a minute! How come we always have to be the ones to rescue people?

  Dylan Hunt : Because I love to see you squirm. Mr. Harper, it's not our job to avoid trouble.

  Harper : It's a good thing, because it's sure got a way of finding us.

• Harper : Tyr Ana-sleazy! Livin' large in the lap-dance of luxury!

• Harper : I'm gonna break free, crack your skull open and drink a beer over your fuzzy corpse!

• Harper : Is my name Seamus Zelazny Harper?

  Beka Valentine : God, I hope not.

• Harper : Have you sent the "Don't shoot, we're pathetic" message yet?

• Harper : Do you believe in ghosts?

  Trance Gemini : I don't believe that there couldn't be ghosts.

  Harper : Oh great. In lieu of a parachute, here's a hanky.

• Harper : Let me guess, we're going to open up a can of cosmic whoop-ass.

• Dylan Hunt : Don't be smart!

  Harper : It's hard not to, when you're a prodigy.

• Seamus Harper : Give me a break. I can't love straight when I'm in think.

  Dylan Hunt : Whatever that means.

• Harper : Well we came, we saw, we get spanked...

• Seamus Harper : Harper & Sons Mechworks and Sandwich Shop, everything from soup to nuts and bolts.

• Harper : I want my Rommie!

• Harper : Yeah, well, good intentions. Hell. You draw the map.

• Harper : It's the "shoot first don't ask questions later because you'll be dead" formation.

  Beka Valentine : I'll get back to you in a minute.

  Harper : Take your time. It's not like we're facing total annihilation or anything.

• [Andromeda is being fired on] 

  Seamus Harper : Can't we fire just one teeny-weeny missile?

  Rommie , Beka Valentine : No!

• Harper : Why would I bring a weapon on a warship? All I'm going to be doing is working, it's not like anything ever happens on ours.

• Dylan Hunt : I'm looking for a stranger, long black coat.

  Seamus Harper : Sort of a tall, short guy? Bald with black hair? He went that way!

• Harper : [to Dylan]  The problem is, this stuff is so old, it pre-dates you!

• Hohne : You aren't going to embrace me again, are you?

  Seamus Harper : Yes.

  [Hugs Hohne] 

• Seamus Harper : No, Hohne, not this time. Nuh-uh. Mr. Smarty Perseid, you think you're a genius? Well guess what - so am I. You wanna have a brain-swinging contest? Swing away!

• Harper : Hey, I'm driving her I only got two hands!

• Seamus Harper : Enjoy your date with data, don't forget to use a conduit.