The Three Stooges (2000 TV Movie)

Paul Ben-Victor: Moe Howard

Photos 

Quotes 

• [from Ants in the Pantry] 

  Larry Fine : Oooh, I can't see, I can't see!

  Moe Howard : What's the matter?

  Larry Fine : I've got my eyes closed.

  [Moe eye pokes Larry again] 

• Moe Howard : Is there anything you won't bet on?

  Larry Fine : Yeah, a winner.

• Jerome 'Curly' Howard : Hey Moe, what do you mean hitting me like that?

  Moe Howard : I'm sorry, Babe. I didn't mean it.

  Jerome 'Curly' Howard : Next time, make it harder so they can hear it in the back row.

• Jack L. Warner : Good evening boys, allow me to introduce myself, Jack Warner.

  Moe Howard : One of the Warner Brothers?

  Jack L. Warner : "The Warner Brothers". Enjoyed your act.

  Moe Howard : Enchanted!

  Larry Fine : Enraptured!

  Jerome 'Curly' Howard : Embalmed!

• Jerome 'Curly' Howard : I'm sorry Moe, I'm sorry I talked that way. I'm just temperamental, you know me.

  Moe Howard : Yeah, 95 percent temper, 5 percent mental.

• Moe Howard : [to Curly]  Look at you, you collect these stray dogs the same way you collect stray women. At least, you don't marry the dogs.

• Moe Howard : [about Curly]  Pa, would ya stop singing Kaddish? It's not like he's dead, he's just going to California.

  Jenny Horwitz : It's the same thing!

• Moe Howard : [last lines; to Larry and Curly]  What are we waiting for?

  Larry Fine : What the hell...

  Moe Howard : [lining up on stage]  Spread out!

• Moe Howard : 2 brothers in 3 years. sometimes i wonder if that tuff guy on screen is really me.

• Ted Healy : Sorry to run out on you, but a very rich lady is waiting for me in a penthouse apartment. She's got a driver outside. If Betty asks...

  Moe Howard , Larry Fine , Shemp Howard : We don't know nothing.

  Ted Healy : [leaving]  I knew I could count on you.

  Moe Howard : Break a leg.

  Shemp Howard : And your head.

• Ted Healy : Caught your act, kid. You got potential.

  Larry Fine : Thanks, Mr. Healy.

  Ted Healy : What's your name?

  Larry Fine : Me, I'm Larry Fine. That there's my wife Mabel.

  Ted Healy : Hiya. This is Moe Howard and his brother Shemp, short for Samuel 'cause his old lady couldn't pronounce it right.

  Larry Fine : I like the bear bit.

  Moe Howard : Oh, gee, thanks. Where'd you get the hair?

  Larry Fine : Ah, my mother blames my father.

• Shemp Howard : I tell you, Moe, that guy gives me the willies.

  Moe Howard : Everything gives you the willies. You'd put a leash on your own shadow if it would keep it from following you.

  Shemp Howard : When are you gonna stop letting him chisel us? The box office guy says Healy makes a grand a week, and all we see is a lousy C-note. He can't get away with that.

  Moe Howard : Oh, yes, he can. He's the headliner. Look, I know he's tough, but we're stooges, a dime a dozen. Just take the money and keep your mouth shut. We'll be okay. Okay?

• Larry Fine : Healy ever heard of a raise?

  Moe Howard : Maybe you should try saving a little more instead of spending it all on the ponies.

  Larry Fine : Not everybody can live on $25 a week like you, Moe.

  Moe Howard : I send 19 home. That leaves me six bucks after expenses.

• Moe Howard : [Delighted at the excellent job their promoter friend did in arranging a full house for their live show, Moe playfully does his trademark eye-poke at him without harming him]  That's how we do it: you make contact with the brow-bone, not with the eyes; looks real on camera.