30 October 2005 | aimless-46
If It Was a Book I Would Burn It
"Hooded Angels" aka "Glory Glory" is a movie that should come with a warning label, something like: "caution- watching this movie is a waste of time-the ending does not deliver anything useful". When you begin watching a movie that physically looks professional (decent cinematography-good film stock) you tend to assume that its other elements (story, acting, production design) will also be professional. Inside this professionally shot package is a story about a group of aging beauty queens and models robbing banks in the American West, wearing a selection of clothes from the Neiman-Marcus Leather Shop, showcasing acting talent on the level of your local high school's senior play, and engaging in a whole lot of poorly staged violence. So it would seem reasonable to assume that there is more here than meets the eye since nothing could be unintentionally this bad.
Midway into the movie you conclude that this is some kind of ambitious "expressionistic" masterpiece (insert David Lynch here). So you watch the rest of it, waiting for director Paul Matthews to pull all these surreal qualities into a nice package of allegory and metaphor. But this does not happen because this is actually supposed to be serious (insert "realism" here), it is actually supposed to be taken literally. Its record-breaking score on the lameness meter is unintentional.
"Hooded Angels" is what would happen if someone were unwise enough to cross "Taxi" (2004) with "The Quick and the Dead" (1995) and mix in a little Sergio Leone texture. Unfortunately nothing good results, only bad and ugly.
The earlier comments give a reasonably accurate detailing of the story. This may not be the worst movie of all time but it is a strong contender.