Miles: Excuse me, I am tired of living a lie. I need it to be known that I like a big girl. In fact, a large, zaftig, voluptuous, full-figured, big-boned, massive-assive honey, that is what gets me going. I like fat women and they like me... big girls need love too, baby!
Billy: Wood bats suck! Why do you think God invented aluminum?
Ryan: I feel comfortable in my thong!
Ryan: [to Pete after he tells Ryan that he's a great pitcher] Yeah? Well... What you think don't mean shit!...
[Pete and Auggie are confused]
Ryan: ...What?... Look all that matters is making it... Getting signed and cashing a check! And right now, I'm lucky if some scout from Po-dunk lets me pitch batting practice for the next couple of seasons!
Auggie: No you're wrong!
Ryan: Bullshit! That's all that matters!
Auggie: No bullshit! What matters is there's some of us who would say you've already made it! Some of us - Some of us who've been there for you... Who drove to Boston College to see you pitch and who went to Framingham State, and sat at your Mom's wake with you... And who cleaned you up behind the OASIS when you couldn't pick YOURSELF up off the ground! And who let you live with me... When you and your old man were at it!... Yeah we matter... I matter... You bet your ass what I think matters... I ain't missed one game Ry... Not one game! And I'm - I'm proud as hell you've done what you've done... When you hit that mound man, I got all I can do to keep from cryin' thinkin about what we've been through... Me and him and your Father and Mike... None of us has missed a game... This ain't just about a paycheck Ry... It's - It's about having pride in what you do... Cuz - Cuz I do...
Tenley: You're thinking about kissing me, aren't you?
Tenley: Well, now that I've said that, you're thinking about it.
Ryan: No, I'm thinking that's what you're thinking.
Tenley: No, I'm thinking that I could swim the length and back underwater.
Ryan: Five bucks says you can't.
Tenley: You got it!
Tenley: If you want big rewards, you gotta take big risks.
Billy: Hey Ryan, Miles here thinks you have a nice pooper.
Billy: So you mow her lawn, and now you're trying to mow her lawn?
Tenley: Let yourself be great.
Billy: [looks back at Miles's girlfriend] That is unhealthy...
Miles: Can we not do this again?
Billy: Domo, don't you think that's unhealthy?
Mickey Dominguez: [shrugs shoulders]
Billy: Wait, you think all sex is unhealthy. Never mind... What I'm sayin' is... Miles, these women are too big to be foolin' with... I'm afraid that in the heat of passion, one of 'em is gonna roll over on you... squash you dead!
Ryan: [angry at the umpire at the Hyannis game] Does his wife know he's screwin us?
John Schiffner: All right, let's not have a meltdown...
Billy: It's me...
Billy: Yeah, I don't think he appreciates me fartin' in his face all night... First it was accidental, now I'm tryin' to make him cry... and I'm pretty sure I just poo-pooed in my panties...
Tenley: You don't understand...
Ryan: Understand what? Being broke? I understand!
Ryan: Understand what? Doing something you love? I understand! I love standing on that mound with a baseball in my hand... Staring at a guy holdin' a club *60* feet away... KNOWING... that he can't touch me... It is the only place in the world that I feel powerful...
Tenley: Why are you so scared?
Ryan: Scared of what?
Tenley: Of everything! Success? Love? You say you love getting on that mound and playing baseball! Why would you ever settle for cutting grass?
Sean Dunne: Mr. Parrish. Remember my son Ryan?
Ryan: How are you doing?
Rand Parrish: Fellows, could you do me a favor and not park on the main driveway? Just use the service drive from now on. Thanks.
Sean Dunne: I drove by the Chamberlains'. I thought you were going to do their lawn.
Ryan: I had practice.
Sean Dunne: How's the coach?
Ryan: I told you not to talk to him.
Sean Dunne: I didn't.
Ryan: Someone told him the story about Mom dying.
Sean Dunne: Maybe someone's trying to help you.
Ryan: Thanks, but I can screw this up on my own.
Sean Dunne: Tough loss tonight. Nine innings, six hits, five runs, three walks, eight strikeouts and one big mistake. I was talking to one of the scouts, the guy in the suspenders. He's from the Phillies. He was curious about your college career. I made up a few stories.
Ryan: That's great, Dad.
Sean Dunne: I'm trying to help here, hotshot. Most important thing in your life, you don't want my help? Not interested?
Ryan: I got some place to be!
[he runs away]
Sean Dunne: Chasing some Shore Road princess who's trying to get Daddy's attention by screwing the lawn boy.
John Schiffner: Everything you do, on the field and off the field, affects your wallet! It's a shame to be hitting 190 on the field because you're hitting 700 in some gin mill. It's a shame to see your dreams and your bank accounts go up in smoke. Any more garbage from you guys and you'll be warming the sticky vinyl of a bus seat back to mommy! I don't care who you are. Now get outta here.
John Schiffner: Why stop with the press box? Huh? If you're gonna start fires, why don't you burn down Main Street? Hah! You know, the league commissioner wanted to call this game off. I had to convince her that to penalize the rest of the team for the stupidity of a couple of knuckleheads would be unfair. But Robin and Van Leemer? They're ghosts. Ghosts! I packed those idiots on the bus this morning; which means that we finish the regular season and we go into the playoffs without our number one pitcher and our starting shortstop! Look at me when I'm talking to you, dammit! Tomorrow at 4 PM. Dunne! You've got the freshest arm. You get to start tomorrow. Now get the hell out of my sight, all of you; I'm sick and tired of looking at you. Move!