The Weekenders (2000–2004)

Phil LaMarr: Carver Descartes, Bluke, Carver's Dad, Coach Ned Colson, Hans, Alien Slug Beast, Captain Dreadnought, Dr. Skippy, Irvine, Mall Security Guard, Nick Vance, Tony Tordolero

Photos 

Quotes 

• Carver : I am going to be CARP!

  Tino : Did you say Carp?

  Carver : That stands for what I want to be. Cool And Radically Popular.

  Tino : It's a good thing you don't want to be Cool RICH And Popular.

  Carver : Why?

• Tish : If I'm a winter, how about this?

  [Comes out of dressing room dressed in a white faux fur coat that covers all but her face] 

  Tino : Stand absolutely still.

  Carver : What if it tracks by scent?

  Tish : Ha, ha. Very funny.

  Tino : Aah! It's seen us! Run!

• Carver : You guys are toast.

  Tino : Well you're double toast.

  Lor McQuarrie : You're triple toast.

  Tish : You're *French* toast.

  Tino : *French* toast?

  Tish : [sighs]  It's been a long day.

• Tino : If a game doesn't have rules, it's not a game is it?

  Carver : No, it's politics.

• [Tish is forcing her friends to do a radio play] 

  Carver : I can't work under these conditions! I'll be in my trailer!

  [Walks into a closet and closes it] 

  Tino : Err... that's my closet.

• Carver : Do you have a compass in there?

  Tino : Yup!

  Carver : Maybe you can use it to find your way BACK TO REALITY!

• Tish : Me? JEALOUS? I haven't got a jealous bone in my body!

  Carver : Do you have any jealous internal organs?

• Tish : Lor, don't you think you're being a tad paranoid?

  Carver : A tad? More like 5 tads and 18 smidgens.

• Carver : How do you spell beautiful?

  Girl : M-e-l G-i-b-s-o-n

• Carver : Interesting. And how did you obtain your data?

  Tino : Made it up.

  Carver : I see.

• Carver : Geeks... Geeks? Those geeks are my friends!

  Tino : did he just say geeks?

• Carver : You have a point there, Lor.

  [Frantically checking her chest] 

  Lor McQuarrie : Where?

• [a girl who humiliated Carver is waving at him at the beach] 

  Carver : SHE'S WAVING AT ME? Isn't there a law against that?

  Tino : [Sarcastic]  Yeeah, you're enforced by the Federal Bureau of Waving.

• Carver : Do you have a compass in there?

  Tino : Why, yes I do!

  Carver : Well, maybe you could use it to find your way back to *reality*!

• Tino : They're coming to get me! Mutant clowns from the Hollow Earth! They're real! It's the clown-pocalypse! Aaah!

  Carver : I think he's getting better.

• Carver : Excuse me while I spend the rest of my life in the attic.

  [Carver walks off] 

  Lor McQuarrie : Wow! That must be a pretty nice attic! Er... what?

• Carver : Ugh, I think my stomach just resigned in disgust.

• Lor McQuarrie : Have you seen the World's Funniest Medical Blunders?

  Carver : Once. This guy swallowed his dentures and when the doctors gave him an x-ray, his lungs were smiling back at him.

• Tish : Don't you want to broaden your minds?

  Lor McQuarrie : Our minds are already broad enough.

  Carver : Yea I already have trouble finding hats that fit.

• Lor McQuarrie : Go fish.

  Carver : We're playing Crazy Eights.

• Tino : You're going to be combing pudding out of your hair!

  Carver : You can't comb dreds!