- Tino: Why can't you be one of those nice moms who just say "Yes Dear"
- Tino's Mom: Yes dear.
- Tino: Well it's a little too late for that now.
- Tino's Mom: Yes dear
- Tino: No talking!
- [Tino is poking his dinner with a fork, but not eating it]
- Tino's Mom: It isn't going to bite you.
- Tino: That works out nicely, because I don't plan to bite it.
- Mrs Duong: Thank you for helping Helpers Helping the Helpless. Your help was very... helpful! And if anyone finds my thesaurus please let me know.
- Lor McQuarrie: It's the crazy backwards universe again.
- Tino: Where cats chase dogs and sitcoms are funny.
- [about Lor]
- Tino's Mom: Aren't you overreacting?
- Tino: Mom, they got her wearing pink.
- Tino's Mom: Ooh, that is serious.
- [Tino is upset because he didn't win a mock election]
- Tino: I'm just a fat, ugly, loser.
- Lor McQuarrie: You're not fat!
- Dixon: [playing ball] Try to keep your eye on the ball this time, it won't bite.
- Tino: It's not so much biting I'm worried about as bone-shattering impact.
- Lor McQuarrie: [watching Tino ride his scooter] Huh,you have pretty good posture for someone without a backbone.
- Lor McQuarrie: It's like an upside down universe.
- Tino: Where up is down and boy bands play instruments.
- Tino: We may not be as interesting as the people on Teen Canyon, but at least we aren't made up characters on T.V... or are we?
- Carver: Excuse me while I spend the rest of my life in the attic.
- [Carver walks off]
- Lor McQuarrie: Wow! That must be a pretty nice attic! Er... what?
- Tino's Mom: [Tino refuses to leave his room] He said he won't come out until the city's been cleared of its un-holy clown infestation.
- Lor McQuarrie: Have you seen the World's Funniest Medical Blunders?
- Carver: Once. This guy swallowed his dentures and when the doctors gave him an x-ray, his lungs were smiling back at him.
- Tino: Tish has lost her dignity.
- Lor McQuarrie: Look under the sofa cushion. I find all sorts of stuff under there.
- Tino: How long have we been here?
- Lor McQuarrie: Somewhere between an hour... and a hundred thousand years.
- Tish: Don't you want to broaden your minds?
- Lor McQuarrie: Our minds are already broad enough.
- Carver: Yea I already have trouble finding hats that fit.
- Tino's Mom: You know, a kite flies on a string, not a stick.
- Tino: [pause] I could see your lips moving, but all I heard was "blah, blah-blah".
- Tino: Mom, which one of these shirts projects a mysterious, vulnerable, dangerous, lost puppy quality?
- Tino's Mom: Come here. Let me feel your forehead.
- Tish: I have here plans for a twelve-foot granite pyramid with twenty thousand miniature workers dragging stone blocks.
- Tino: Uh-huh? And I have *here* cardboard, glue, sticks and paint.
- Tish: Okay. How about a one-foot pyramid with two miniature workers dragging a sugar cube.
- Tino: I know you spent a lot of time on those plans, Tish. I'm sorry you had to compromise your artistic vision.
- Tish: And *I'm* sorry you had to sit on a tube of paint.
- Tino: Oh great. Looks like I sat on a leprechaun.