Big Trouble (2002)

Dennis Farina: Henry Desalvo

Photos 

Quotes 

• Leonard : Look at this thing. He's the size of a Buick.

  Henry Desalvo : She.

  Leonard : She what?

  Henry Desalvo : The mosquito is a she.

  Leonard : How the hell can you tell that?

  Henry Desalvo : Discovery Channel. Only the female mosquito sucks your blood.

  Leonard : Sounds like my ex-wife. Bitch.

• Leonard : [during their second attempt to kill Arthur]  What's happening?

  Henry Desalvo : Well, Moron #1 is tying up the family.

  Leonard : So take the shot.

  Henry Desalvo : I would, but Moron #2 just came back with a couple of Miami's Finest.

  Henry Desalvo : [notices Eliot in the kitchen]  Hold on a second. We have a Die Hard situation developing in the kitchen.

  Leonard : What?

  Henry Desalvo : There's a guy there in the kitchen.

  Leonard : A guy? What's he doing?

  Henry Desalvo : Well, my guess is he's either gonna whack em' with a rolling pin or he's gonna bake em' a cake. I don't know. Could go either way with this crew.

  [sees Eliot grab Matt's water pistol] 

  Henry Desalvo : Holy shit. Betty Crocker's got a squirt gun!

  Leonard : Let me look!

  Henry Desalvo : Forget about it. This is better than pay-per-view.

  [sees Eliot make the water pistol look like a real gun] 

  Henry Desalvo : There goes the warranty, and here comes the Iron Chef.

• Henry Desalvo : Moron #2 just got Moron #1 all wet.

• Henry Desalvo : I got a great New York Strip over there that cost me $27 and change, and it tastes like I'm eating a cigar butt. Now please put out your cigars.

  Bruce : There's no rule against smoking here.

  Henry Desalvo : This isn't about rules, it's about manners. Now there's no rule that says that I cant come over here and fart on your entree. But I don't do it. Why? Because it's not good manners. So I ask you again, in the nicest possible way, please put out the cigars, okay?

  Bruce : [blows smoke in Henry's face]  No.

  [He turns to his companions and they all laugh... until Henry seizes his hand, breaks his middle and index fingers, and drops his cigar into his glass of brandy, then plucks away the nearest diner's cigar and drops his cigar into his brandy. He just looks at the remaining two diners, who quickly extinguish their cigars in their own brandies] 

  Henry Desalvo : Thank you.

  Bruce : [gasping]  I hope you realize you've just committed assault.

  Henry Desalvo : I know, I know. You know, I remember time was you actually had to hit somebody.

• [At the airport, Leonard trips and a hunting rifle goes flying out of his golf bag. He and Henry freeze when they see FBI Agents Greer and Seitz, and Officer Romero standing there] 

  Pat Greer : Your jurisdiction.

  [the FBI Agents leave. Monica stares and Henry and Leonard for a few seconds, then picks up the rifle, removes the bolt, and tosses the rifle back to the ground] 

  Monica Romero : Gentlemen.

  [She leaves] 

  Henry Desalvo : ...Well, Miami sucks. But the cops are kind of nice.

  Leonard : Got that right.

• Henry Desalvo : Apparently there was some kind of traffic commotion. Let's see if there's anything about it on the radio.

  [turns on the radio] 

  Confused Sports Radio Call In : Well you're not hearing what I'm saying. What I'm saying is that I'm a Gators fan and I'm calling you now.

• Annoyed Sports Radio Host : I'm looking for one brave Gators fan to call, just one. Oh so Gators fans talk trash all the time but when they play a game and lose nobody has the guts to call in?

  Leonard : What are Gators?

  Henry Desalvo : Football. College.

  Confused Sports Radio Call In : I'm a Gators fan.

  Annoyed Sports Radio Host : And what do you have to say?

  Confused Sports Radio Call In : You said that Gators fans don't have the guts to call in.

  Annoyed Sports Radio Host : Your point?

  Confused Sports Radio Call In : My point is that I'm calling you now.

  Leonard : [notices Snake and Eddie escorting Arthur wearing dark-colored pantyhose on their head]  Is that him?

  Henry Desalvo : I think we got Gator fans.

• [Henry and Leonard are stuck in the middle of a big traffic jam, just right before the Airport Road] 

  Henry Desalvo : We're gonna miss our flight.

  Leonard : You see what the problem is?

  Henry Desalvo : I don't know. There's some kind of commotion up there. There might be something about it on the radio.

• Henry Desalvo : [trapped on a delayed plane filled with raucous Gator fans after a surreal day in Miami]  I *really* feel like killing someone.

• Henry Desalvo : [back at his table]  You go tell your employer it's gonna cost him another 10 G's apiece.

  His Boss : Okay. But we want this finished as soon as possible.

  Henry Desalvo : Well, believe me, we don't want to spend anymore time in this garden spot than we have to.

  Leonard : Got that right.

• Henry Desalvo : There was another shooter.

  William Spaulding : What do you mean?

  Henry Desalvo : What do I mean? What do you mean "what do I mean". I mean there was another shooter is what I mean.