Steven: I look both ways when I cross the street.
Fannie: D'you know our high school reunion's comin' up? Ten years... D'you know how depressing that is? D'you think I don't wanna slash my fucking wrists when I think about that? Goddamn it!
Fannie: Steven, you drive like my fucking grandma! Wait... that's actually an insult because my grandma drives better than you do!
Fannie: I bought a gift for you.
Steven: Oh, no.
Fannie: Actually, I lifted it from Borders. But it's perfect for your date. It's classical music.
Steven: Oh, thanks!
Fannie: Yeah, when you get Lorena alone, put this on. Classical music makes women horny. Just trust me on this one.
Steven: Thanks. "Best of John Philip Sousa".
Fannie: Yeah. Chicks dig it.
Fannie: [after being thrown out for throwing a tantrum in a Target] Fucking suburbanized shit!
Lou: [Loudly, after Heidi smashes his model battleship] You're grounded.
Lorena: I have a daughter Steven, you have a dummy.
Steven: I've been in love with you ever since I sat on my glasses.
Lou: You sniffin' my airplane glue, too?
Fern: You know Lou, when you have kids to raise, you yell.