Super Troopers (2001)

Jay Chandrasekhar: Thorny

Photos 

Quotes 

• Captain O'Hagan : I swear to God I'll pistol whip the next guy who says "Shenanigans."

  Mac : Hey Farva what's the name of that restaurant you like with all the goofy shit on the walls and the mozzarella sticks?

  Farva : You mean Shenanigans?

  Mac : OOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

  Thorny : OOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

  [as they offer the Captain their pistols] 

• Farva : Hey, let's pop some Viagras and issue tickets with raging, mega-huge boners.

  Thorny : You know, Farva, only you can make a dark man blush. And no, we're not doing it.

• Farva : Give me a double bacon cheeseburger.

  Dimpus Burger Guy : [into mic]  Double baco cheeseburger. It's for a cop.

  Farva : What the hell's that all about? You gonna spit in it now?

  Dimpus Burger Guy : No, I just told him that so he makes it good.

  [into mic] 

  Dimpus Burger Guy : Don't spit in that cop's burger.

  Farva : Yeah, thanks.

  Second Dimpus Guy : Roger, holding the spit.

  Farva : Gimme a pie... apple.

  Dimpus Burger Guy : Want me to hold the spit? Hah, just kidding officer Farva.

  [pause] 

  Dimpus Burger Guy : Want me to dimpa-size your meal for 25 cents?

  Farva : Want me to punch-a-size your face, for free?

  Dimpus Burger Guy : It's only 25 cents, and look how much more you get.

  Thorny : Look, kid, he doesn't want it.

  Farva : I can handle this, Thorn. I don't want it!

  Dimpus Burger Guy : Uhh, right. Beverage?

  Farva : Gimme a litre o' cola.

  Dimpus Burger Guy : What?

  Farva : [Annoyed]  A litre o' cola.

  Dimpus Burger Guy : [into mic]  Litrecola? Do we sell litrecola?

  Thorny : Will you just order a large, Farva?

  Farva : I don't want a large farva. I want a goddamn litre o' cola!

  Dimpus Burger Guy : [to Farva]  I don't know what that is!

  Farva : [slowly starts shouting]  Litre is French for...

  [grabs burger kid by shirt] 

  Farva : ... give me my fuckin' cola before I break VOUS FUCKIN' LIP!

• Mac : But our shenanigans are cheeky and fun!

  Thorny : [referring to Farva]  Yeah, and his shenanigans are cruel and tragic.

  Foster : [after a pause]  Which... makes them not really shenanigans at all.

  Mac : [in a silly voice]  Evil shenanigans!

• Police Chief Grady : I will have the enchilada platter with two tacos and no guacamoles. Smy?

  Officer Smy : Yeah, chief. I'll have a CHINCHILLA!

  Rabbit : I don't get it. Tacos?

  Thorny : They think I'm Mexican.

  Rabbit : You're not Mexican?

• Mac : And that was the second time I got crabs.

  Foster : Awesome.

  Thorny : Afternoon.

  Mac : Hey.

  Foster : Hey.

  Thorny : It stinks like sex in here.

• Thorny : Littering and... littering and... littering and smokin' the reefer.

• Thorny : Are you okay?

  College Boy 2 : Yeah, sure.

  Thorny : Yes sir?

  College Boy 2 : Yes sir.

  Thorny : No, did you say "yes sir."?

  Rabbit : I think he said "yeah, sure."

  College Boy 1 : What'd you say man?

  College Boy 2 : When I said, "yeah, sure", but what... literally what I said was "yeah, sure, sir."

  Thorny : So you are okay then?

  College Boy 2 : Yes sir.

  [sounds like "yeah sure"] 

• Thorny : Where are your shoes?

  Foster : What are you, the shoe police?

  Thorny : I am, and you owe me 20 laps around the bar.

  Foster : Black magic only works on the rookie.

  Thorny : That's brown magic.

• Thorny : Who wants a moustache ride?

  German Woman : Ooh, I vant von!

  German Man : I do! I do!

• Farva : It doesn't matter cause I'm going to win ten million dollars.

  Thorny : What are you going to do with ten million dollars, and you can't say buy the Cleveland Cavaliers.

  Farva : I'd buy a ten million dollar car.

  Thorny : That's a good investment but I'd still pull you over.

  Farva : Bull Shit. You couldn't pull me over, and even if you did I'd activate my car's wings and I'd fly away.

  [Farva pulls off ticket from cup and pop spills all over him from the hole behind the ticket] 

  Farva : Dammit, you burger punk. You son of a bitch!

• Mac : How's your shooting, Thorny?

  Thorny : Good. I've been dead on all morning.

  Mac : What about that little guy?

  [points to a bullet hole in the shooting target's neck] 

  Thorny : Who, that little guy? I wouldn't worry about that little guy.

• [repeated line] 

  Thorny : Enhance.

  Captain O'Hagan : Just print the damn thing!

• Thorny : [car speeds past while Thorny is talking to potheads]  Mother of God.

• Thorny : [after pulling car over]  Do you know how fast you were going back there?

  College Boy 1 : Umm... 65?

  Thorny : 63.

  College Boy 1 : But... isn't the speed limit 65?

  Thorny : Yes, it is.

  College Boy 3 : [stoned]  I'm freakin' out, man!

• Thorny : Smell that, Rabbit?

  Rabbit : *sniff sniff*... fear.

• Thorny : I'll give you the fat guy for Foster. And uh, how about that stupid guy for Rabbit.

  Ursula : Well, you're going to have to be more specific, they're both kind of fat and stupid.

• Thorny : Littering and smoking the reefer. Now to teach you boys a lesson, me and officer Rabbit are going to stand here while you three smoke the whole bag.

  College Boy 3 : [Just ate a bag of weed and a bag of shrooms]  Oh please no.

• Thorny : [finishes Syrup, slams bottle on table]  I am all that is man!

  [Rabbit struggles to Finish] 

  Mac : What's a-matter Rabbit, your mother teach you to Chug?

• Farva : Gimme a litre o' cola.

  Dimpus Burger Guy : What?

  Farva : A litre o' cola.

  Thorny : Just order a large, Farva.

  Farva : I don't want a large Farva. I want a goddamn litre o' cola.

  Dimpus Burger Guy : I don't know what that is.

  Farva : Litre is French for give me some fucking cola before I break vous fucking lips!

• Captain O'Hagan : Did you guys put in for any transfers yet?

  Mac : I applied for a guard job - at the post office.

  [collective groan] 

  Thorny : Hey, you'll finally be able to shoot someone.

• Thorny : [points to his lips, referring to the lipstick Rabbit has on his lips and cheeks]  Hey Rabbit.

  Rabbit : Yeah, I know. You've got beautiful, big brown lips.

• Thorny : Where you boys headed?

  College Boy 1 : Canada... we were goin' to Canada for some French fries and gravy, sir.

  Thorny : Canada, huh? Almost made it.

• Thorny : I'm OK... but I can't say the same for these white devils.

• Captain O'Hagan : Well, this burger thing with Farva's really screwed our pooch.

  Thorny : What? They can't lump us in with that fuckin' martian!

• Thorny : Say Farva, you wanna take this dispatch?

  Farva : Hell, yeah!

  Thorny : Yeah, I bet you would.

• Thorny : All right Arlo, why don't you hop up on Uncle Rabbit's lap?

  Rabbit : [indicating that he still has an erection]  I don't think that's such a good idea, Thorny!

• Thorny : [upon seeing Farva in a local cop uniform]  What the fuck, Farva!

  Captain O'Hagan : What are you doing wearing that uniform in my station?

  Farva : Looks who's talking 'Denim Dan'! You look like the President and CEO of Levi-Strauss!

• Captain O'Hagan : What's the significance of this John Chimpo fella?

  Foster : You know those really cheap Japanese cartoons? No? This is basically a cheaper, Afgahni knockoff. It's this monkey that basically travels around the world, doing nasty things. His butler tries to keep him in line, but, uh... no.

  Rabbit : It's really funny, Cap. It's Afghanistanimation!

  Captain O'Hagan : The monkey has a butler? Great. Is that what they do in Arabia, Thorny?

  Thorny : How the hell should I know?

• Mac : But our shenanigans are cheeky and fun

  Thorny : And his shenanigans are cruel and tragic