[week 5, in the diary room, after the PoV competition]
Will Kirby: Hey Boogie, did you win PoV today?
Mike Malin: Nah. I won a trip to Aruba for two and a plasma television. Did you win PoV?
Will Kirby: No... I won uh, five thousand bucks.
[both look at camera with serious faces before bursting out in laughter]
[season 7, week 3, to the houseguests during the veto ceremony]
Will Kirby: Okay. Traditionally, the uh, nominees uh speak to the veto holder individually because they're looking for one person to help them. But if it's okay with George, the power of veto holder and James, the HoH holder, I'd like to speak to the house as a group.
Will Kirby: This is truly an all star season because I'm astonished by your gameplay here. Now, a lot of you have come up to me and you've said, "Will, you don't really seem like you're into it. You don't really seem like you wanna play." And you said, "Why, what was the reason for that?" And I said to myself, "I don't know. I don't know why I can't be, I don't understand it." So I had a heart-to-heart with myself and I said, "Will, what is the reason? Why are you having such a hard time playing?" And this is the truth, season two, the season that I won, there was a lot of people I hated and it was easy for me to motivate and find individuals that I disliked and it gave me power, it gave me a reason to wanna play, it gave me a reason to wanna fight, it gave me a reason to wanna remove people from the game. Then I thought, so why haven't I had that motivation? And I thought it was because I really liked everyone here. But then I realized it was the opposite of that. I can't find an individual to hate 'cause I hate you all.
Will Kirby: There's no one I hate more than anyone else. This is what I'm gonna do, I'm gonna ask to be removed from this game by you all. Now, if you refuse to kick me out, I will be throwing every competition, I will throw every HoH, I will throw every PoV, and I will throw every food competition. George is on slop and I will do the best I can to ensure that we all are on slop... unless you get together, have a big group meeting and vote me out. So, Chicken George, please don't use the power of veto on me. I want this nomination to stay in place. I encourage you to use it yourself, you know why?
[claps and addresses Chicken George]
Will Kirby: This man is a badass. He went up against the five wickedest, freakiest Big Brother players and he whooped their ass. Don't use it, vote me out. Back to you, George.
Mike Malin: [to Ian] This is the Big Brother house. You can bounce checks.
[season 7, week 4, prior to the live eviction]
Host: Will, you are not sitting in one of the two eviction chairs. It must be killing you that you're not nominated. How are you coping?
Will Kirby: Not great, Julie, kind of ready to go and if you wanna mix things up and send me home, I'm ready. You let me know sweetheart.
Host: Good to know.
Host: For now, let's eavesdrop on the houseguests. From outside the Big Brother house, I'm Julie Chen. Goodnight.
Mike Malin: Shane is like an Idiot Savant... minus the Savant.
[season 7, week 5, about Janelle, in the diary room]
James Rhine: This Anna Nicole Smith wannabe is probably THE dumbest person to ever play this game.
[season 7, week 6, about Janelle, in the diary room]
Marcellas Reynolds: If I win Head of Household, the Buxom Blonde is toast.
[season 7, week 6, talking strategy in the diary room]
Will Kirby: ChillTown is the Beatles of this show. I'm the Paul McCartney and Mike Boogie is the John Lennon. Unfortunately Erika is still the Yoko Ono, she's been in this band entirely too long and she is gonna ruin our career if we're not careful about it.
[about Christine, in the diary room]
Zach Rance: How do I put this? People that don't pull their weight in an alliance get left behind. Or should I say... evicted.