Walton Goggins credited as playing...
Steve Naish
- Lt. George Wydell: [holds a photo of Denise] Have you seen this girl in the past 24 hours?
- Captain Spaulding: Yeah, cute kid. Ain't my type though. You know, I like 'em with a little more meat on 'em. Ha ha. The bigger the cushion, the sweeter the pushin'.
- Deputy Steve Naish: Come on, clownie, just answer the damn questions. We ain't interested in your love life.
- Lt. George Wydell: Cut the crap, Spaulding, and get with the facts.
- Lt. George Wydell: What did you see? Who was she with? Where was she going?
- Captain Spaulding: I don't know. Yeah, that girl was in here last night. She was with three other stupid kids. They was nosing around... asking a bunch of stupid questions.
- Deputy Steve Naish: Questions about what?
- Captain Spaulding: I don't know. This and that. Mostly a bunch of tired Dr. Satan bullshit.
- [sighs]
- Captain Spaulding: Look, they caught a gander at the display in the back and they figured they'd run out and solve the great big Deadwood mystery about Dr. Satan.
- Lt. George Wydell: And how'd they get that idea?
- Captain Spaulding: I wrote 'em a map... out to the old farm road that runs past the Hanging Tree. I figured, what the hell? Can't do no harm. Besides, it's good for my tourist trade. Ha, ha!
- Deputy Steve Naish: You can shit ten bricks for all I care.
- Deputy Steve Naish: What else happened?
- Captain Spaulding: [getting angry and agitated] Nothin'. You ask me, those stupid ass kids probably got turned around ass backwards and got themselves lost.
- Lt. George Wydell: Is that all? Now, I want you to think really hard.
- [Spaulding scratches his head with his forefinger, mocking "thinking hard"]
- Captain Spaulding: Well, I don't ridley know. You see, they wasn't in here long enough for me to get up close and personal with 'em like I do with most of the other assholes that come wondering in here!
- Deputy Steve Naish: [about Mr. Willis] You sure this fella's supossed to ride with us in this car?
- Lt. George Wydell: Mmmm-hmm.
- Deputy Steve Naish: [shakes head] This just don't seem right to me.
- Lt. George Wydell: Well listen, it ain't up to us. Chief said to pick him up and take him with us. The guy's an ex-cop and figures he can be a help some.
- Deputy Steve Naish: I just hope he don't get in my way's all I'm sayin' all right?
- Deputy Steve Naish: Chief, if you ask me I'd say these kids got a cold six and are out getting shitfaced right now
- Lt. George Wydell: Boy, I sure hope you're right. My guts are telling me different.
- Deputy Steve Naish: Your Spidey senses tinglin?
- Lt. George Wydell: [nodding head] Mmm-hmm... yeah.
- [realizing what Nash said]
- Lt. George Wydell: WHAT?
- Deputy Steve Naish: You know Georgie... Like in the Marvel comics...
- Lt. George Wydell: [getting irritated] How old do you think I am, boy? I know Spiderman! Just get to your point!
- Deputy Steve Naish: You know like when he was fighting people like that damn... what the hell was his name?
- [thinks hard]
- Deputy Steve Naish: Aww shit. I cant remember.
- Lt. George Wydell: I myself always favored for the Hulk.
- Deputy Steve Naish: The Hulk was dumb as shit!
- Lt. George Wydell: Ahh fuck! Damn!
- Deputy Steve Naish: What?
- Lt. George Wydell: [sarcastic] Nothing.