Nathan Thurm: I'm not defensive. You're the one who should be defensive, you're the one who thinks that hairdo works with that overly long face of yours.
Elong Spengler: What does my haircut have to do with anything?
Nathan Thurm: I don't know, you're the one who brought it up.
Elong Spengler: No I didn't.
Nathan Thurm: Yes you did.
Vic's Buddy # 1: What the hell is Earth day anyway?
Vic's Buddy # 2: Oh, it's that, eh, gopher thing, itn't it?
Vic's Buddy # 1: No, no, what, are you kidding me? You're thinking of Groundhog day. Gopher was the bartender on Love Boat.
Vic's Buddy # 2: No, no, no, Gopher was the steward on Love Boat, Ted was the Bartender.
Every Lawyer: I can always argue on the opposite side.
Mother Earth: I will survive, I'm just a rock floating around the Sun. It's you I'm worried about.
Mother Earth: Vote with your dollars.
Mother Earth: I remember the first Earth Day, it was a Sunday just like this one. Everyone was so excited. Then... Monday. People forget.
Walter Samson: The forests are the lungs of the planet, and if they stop breathing we stop.