C.W.: I hate her just like I hate that German Chancellor with the moustache.
C.W.: I found the Picasso. It wasn't easy. I was looking for a woman with a guitar and it was all cubes. It took me two hours to find her nose.
C.W.: The house is messy. If I knew you were coming I'd have had the maid rearrange the dirt.
C.W.: Are you divorced or widowed? Did your husband commit suicide? I could understand that.
C.W.: Are you going to take your coat off? It hasn't rained in this apartment in 20 years.
C.W.: A lot of women have passed through this apartment. I can't say they were all winners, but...
C.W.: It's a match made in heaven... by a retarded angel.
C.W.: We'll have lunch. I know a great restaurant you'll love. Gestapo food.
C.W.: I may be a scummy vermin but I'm an honest scummy vermin.
C.W.: You snore like a grizzly bear with a sinus condition.
C.W.: My clergyman - who happens to be wanted for pederasty - will vouch for me.
Chris: Many a man has gone to the gallows on circumstantial evidence.
Betty Ann: Who do you think I am, a peroxide little secretary with her brains in her sweater and whose ass you pinch?
Betty Ann: You hate any woman that doesn't have a double digit IQ.
C.W.: Never trust a woman who whistles for her own cab.
C.W.: Don't work too late. The bags under your eyes are getting bigger.
C.W.: Let me have the cherry cheesecake and a prune danish and a couple of Hershey bars, oh and I should have something sweet. Let me have some chocolate covered raisins.
C.W.: This is a very smart burglar and you guys have trouble figuring out who did it when you get a confession.
C.W.: I didn't do it and i gotta have time to prove it, otherwise they're going to lock me up in a concrete building and you'll only be able to insult me on visiting day.
C.W.: So, should we... get out of here and find someplace where we can start making up for lost time?
Betty Ann: You don't have a kosher bone in your body.
C.W.: They all look the same upside down.
Jill: Gosh, all this passion in a lousy insurance office!
C.W.: You have a nicely shaped buttocks.
C.W.: The New York City Police want to give me a lifetime achievement award.