- Dave: [trying to calm everyone down] You know what, let's just chill. Let's smoke some doobs and do some yoga or something.
- Dave: That's right you two - no actually, you know what, you're a ten-faced dick. And that's a lot of dick.
- Tony Manson: Never, never let the artist have control over their own music. They'll end up playing what they want.
- Carl: Nat?
- Natalie Bevin: Hmm?
- Carl: Man in your life? Woman with your package I'm sure has a man in her life.
- Natalie Bevin: Or a woman.
- Carl: [pause] Everyone's a lesbian.
- Natalie Bevin: I'm just trying to play this song the way I know how. I'm not Ben. I'm not trying to be Ben, OK? In my experience, if you want to make a good song you've got to mess around with it. Have a little bit of fun. That's all I'm trying to do.
- Flit: In your experience? As what? A by-the-hour session hooker?
- Carl: Oh no!
- Natalie Bevin: Fuck you, Flit!
- Flit: Oh yeah yeah yeah, it was sooooo much better than Ben. I think we should just forget Ben actually. Just forget him, forget all the stuff he did. I mean, she is just... Let's just run with her.
- Natalie Bevin: 'Her' has a name.
- Lady Foxley: I had completely forgotten that she comes at this time of the year.
- Lord Foxley: Yes, well, the newt mating season hardly figures in the calendar alongside Lent and the Queen Mother's birthday.
- Tony Manson: I love it! I love it! But will they go for it?
- James Chancellor: I'd stake my job on it.
- Tony Manson: [laughs] You just have, my son. You just have.
- Journalist #2: Some people are saying this uh... disapperaing act is little more than a cheap publicity stunt.
- Tony Manson: Bullshit! It's costing me a bleedin' fortune!
- James Chancellor: Waiter! Could you have a look in the van and pick up any of the remaining bags? Thank you!
- Lord Foxley: Did he call me a waiter?
- Lord Foxley: Benson, do you hate me with every fiber of your body?
- Benson: Most definitely, sir.
- Lord Foxley: [laughs] You see! Deaf as a bloody doorknob!
- Benson: [to Lady Foxley] Not every fiber, Your Ladyship.