Mr. Deeds (2002)
Winona Ryder: Babe Bennett
Photos
Quotes
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Babe : [reading a poem Deeds wrote for her] "Hard to breathe / Feels like floating / So full of love my heart's exploding. / Mouth is dry / Hands are shaking / My heart is yours for the taking. / Acting weird / Not myself / Dancing around like the Keebler elf. / Finally time / for this poor schlubb / To know how it feels to fall in lub."
Longfellow Deeds : I couldn't find any other words that rhyme with "schlub..."
[Babe pulls Deeds towards her and the two kiss for one long moment]
Babe : Oh, Deeds... oh, I am so sorry...
[breaks into tears and runs away]
Longfellow Deeds : No, don't be... I mean, that was my first kiss too...
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[Deeds comes to rescue a girl fallen into a frozen pond, but stops when he sees it's Babe]
Longfellow Deeds : Where do you got the camera hidden? In the woods?
Babe : [shivering] No camera! I'm s-s-so cold! Please!
Longfellow Deeds : You're gonna get mugged in there, too?
Babe : I'm s-s-s-so s-s-s-sorry! I really l-l-love you!
Longfellow Deeds : Bu-bu-bu-bu-bullshit!
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Babe : You must be Jan. My name is...
Jan : I know who you are. Wham-Bam Dawson, a.k.a. Little Miss Slut-slut.
Babe : Okay, I deserved that...
Jan : Do you have any idea how much you hurt him? You're not getting anywhere near that boy.
Babe : I have to find him, and there's nothing you can do to stop me.
Jan : [rolls up her sleeves] There's a lot I can do to stop you.
Babe : He needs to know how bad I feel, and I would go to the end of the earth, I would do anything, *anything*, to take back what I did to him.
Jan : ...I'm sorry? All I heard was, "blah blah blah, I'm a dirty tramp."
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Babe, aka "Pam Dawson" : Oh, you have got to be shittin' me.
Longfellow Deeds : Whoa... that's the first time I've heard you curse.
Babe : I'm that excited.
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Babe : At the lake, when you saved my life... which I never thanked you for...
Longfellow Deeds : You're welcome.
Babe : ...you said that you didn't know who I was, and it made me realize... I don't know who I am. So I started working on it, and here's what I've got so far: My name is Babe Bennett. I grew up in Sayasset, Long Island. I have brown eyes and I don't know what my natural hair colour is anymore. When I was in fifth grade, I got a crush on Walter Kronkite, and... and I really did have that Holly Hobby notebook I was telling you about. I love Bruce Springsteen, Allman Roka and Abbott and Costello movies. I don't like liquorice, or my ankles. Most importantly, I know that I messed up real bad, and I'd be willing to spend the rest of my life begging you to give me another chance, because I am so deeply in love with you, and I know that it's definitely that forever kind of love that...
Longfellow Deeds : You're crazy.
[Babe trails off into silence]
Longfellow Deeds : You have beautiful ankles.
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Babe : Awww, he's choking. We should leave.
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Mac McGrath : Are you gonna see him again tonight?
Babe, aka "Pam Dawson" : Yes. I'm calling him around 4. It's when I get off work. Remember, I am Pam Dawson, virgin school nurse from Winchestertonfieldville, Iowa.
Mac McGrath : Ha ha, that's priceless... YOU a VIRGIN! Ha ha ha!
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Jan : Tell you what: you get by me, I'll tell you where he is.
[cricks her neck]
Jan : Whoo! Feeling crazy!
Babe : [takes off her coat] Okay...
Jan : Come to mama!
[Babe charges, and Jan clotheslines her]
Babe : Ow...
Jan : I was a rodeo clown for six years. You're gonna have to step it up a notch, shorty.
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[Deeds' poem is printed on greeting cards all over the state]
Babe : "Hard to breathe / Feels like floating..."
Reuben : "So full of love my heart's exploding..."
Emilio : [stroking a beautiful woman] "Mouth is dry / Hands are shaking..."
Cecil Anderson : [seated next to Kitty on a bench] "My heart is yours for the taking..."
Nazo, the Italian Delivery Man : [stroking a cat] "Acting weird / Not myself..."
Jan : "Dancing around like the Keebler elf..."
Longfellow Deeds : "Finally time / for this poor schlubb / To know how it feels to fall in lub."
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Babe : And this is my brother Denny's room,
[opens a closet door]
Babe, aka "Pam Dawson" : they didn't like my brother very much.
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[Babe is fiddling with a camera hidden in her blouse, when she notices a fireman staring at her]
Babe : Uh... Fires excite me.
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[Deeds finds Babe trapped underneath a sheet of ice]
Longfellow Deeds : [removes his shoe] Get ready... here comes the foot!
Babe : NOOOO!
[Deeds shoves his frostbitten foot through the ice... right next to Babe]
Longfellow Deeds : I know, it's gross - grab it!
[pulls Babe out of the ice with the foot]
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Longfellow Deeds : What are you doing in New York?
Babe, aka "Pam Dawson" : I'm a school nurse.
Longfellow Deeds : There's no way you're a school nurse.
Babe, aka "Pam Dawson" : Why, don't you believe me?
Longfellow Deeds : You're too nice to be a school nurse. My school nurse was so mean, every time I'd tell her I had a tummy ache, she'd send me back to my class and say, "Stop whining."
Babe, aka "Pam Dawson" : But that's awful!
Longfellow Deeds : Well, I said it every day.
[Both laugh]
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Babe, aka "Pam Dawson" : Where do you hail from, Deeds?
Longfellow Deeds : Mandrake Falls, New Hampshire. Just a little town nobody's ever heard of.
Babe, aka "Pam Dawson" : I'm from a little town like that. In Iowa.
Longfellow Deeds : Is that right? What part?
Babe, aka "Pam Dawson" : Winchesterton... field... ville...
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Babe : He's not a dipshit. He's a good-hearted guy who we think is a weirdo because he doesn't share our sense of ironic detachment. All this hip, snide, smart-alecky...
Mac McGrath : Bullshit?
Babe : Yes, bullshit.
Mac McGrath : Well, in a few moments, I'm going to put on my Versace overcoat, get into my Mercedes, drive to my Fifth Avenue apartment and squeeze my girlfriend's big, fake boobs. And that bullshit you're talking about, paid for all of it.
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Babe, aka "Pam Dawson" : He writes greeting cards.
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Longfellow Deeds : And if it wasn't for Miss Dawson being here, I'd probably knock your heads in.
Babe, aka "Pam Dawson" : I don't mind.
Longfellow Deeds : Okay.
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[Babe twiddles with a camera hidden in her blouse]
Babe : I want a raise, Mac!
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[exposed]
Babe : I was gonna tell you, Deeds...
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Babe : I'm gonna tell him that I've fallen in love with him, and who I really am.
Mac McGrath : And what if he punches you?
Babe : I'm kinda hoping he does.
Mac McGrath : Ah, come off it, Babe. You'd actually leave all this for that dipstick?
Babe : He is not a dipstick! He is a kind, sweet-hearted guy who we think is a dipstick because he doesn't have our sense of cynicism and negative that we put into the news to make it sell!
Mac McGrath : Garbage!
Babe : Right!
Mac McGrath : Well, after this meeting, I'm going down to my limo and head across to my 16-floor mansion to touch my girlfriend's big fake pompoms!
Babe : Good for you, Mac. But I'm still gonna tell him.
Mac McGrath : I feel for you, I do. "Big journalist leaves career for Forrest Gump." I'm really gonna miss you...
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Longfellow Deeds : You didn't really fall out of an apple tree, did you?
Babe : No. But I really do love you.
Longfellow Deeds : I don't know who you are. I'm sorry...
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[Deeds' rescue is warped and seen on the news as a twisted perversion]
Babe : He risked his life to save that woman and her pets! He was heroic!
Mac McGrath : [shrugs] Heroic is nice; depraved and insane is better.
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Babe, aka "Pam Dawson" : I'm of Swedish ancestry.
Longfellow Deeds : Really?
Babe, aka "Pam Dawson" : Yes. My grandfather was in ABBA.
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Babe, aka "Pam Dawson" : You know, when I was a kid, I wanted to be a news reporter.
Longfellow Deeds : Oh yeah?
Babe, aka "Pam Dawson" : Yeah. I used to go around interviewing everyone, and writing notes in my little Holly Hobby notebook.
[pause]
Babe, aka "Pam Dawson" : People didn't like that; I got beat up a lot.
Longfellow Deeds : Do you remember their names?