Mr. Deeds (2002)

John Turturro: Emilio Lopez

Photos 

Quotes 

• Longfellow Deeds : Whoa, you kinda snuck up on me there...

  Emilio : I am very very sneaky, sir.

• Emilio : I fear you are underestimating the sneakiness, sir.

• Emilio : How can I thank you?

  Longfellow Deeds : All I want is your friendship, Emilio. You're a good man.

  Emilio : Deeds! How about a billion dollars?

  Longfellow Deeds : Alright.

  Emilio : Done.

• [Longfellow Deeds is showing Emilio his frostbitten foot] 

  Emilio : The hideousness of that foot will haunt my dreams forever.

  Longfellow Deeds : Oh, yeah. I've heard that before

• Emilio : You're fired. You're fired. You're fired. You, sir, you are definitely fired.

  Cecil Anderson : I'd like to stay. I think I can do some good around here.

  [Emilio looks at Deeds, who nods in approval] 

  Emilio : Okay, not fired. But tomorrow morning, you will let me change your socks.

  Cecil Anderson : [Weirded out]  Okay.

• Emilio : Usually, when you are black out drunk you don't dream... or so I read.

• [Deeds' poem is printed on greeting cards all over the state] 

  Babe : "Hard to breathe / Feels like floating..."

  Reuben : "So full of love my heart's exploding..."

  Emilio : [stroking a beautiful woman]  "Mouth is dry / Hands are shaking..."

  Cecil Anderson : [seated next to Kitty on a bench]  "My heart is yours for the taking..."

  Nazo, the Italian Delivery Man : [stroking a cat]  "Acting weird / Not myself..."

  Jan : "Dancing around like the Keebler elf..."

  Longfellow Deeds : "Finally time / for this poor schlubb / To know how it feels to fall in lub."

• Chuck Cedar : Cute, bigmouth.

  Emilio : Sir?

  Chuck Cedar : As soon as that moron goes back to Cowpie Falls, you are out of here on your fat, Puerto Rican ass.

  [leaves] 

  Emilio : I hail from Spain, sir.

  [gives the middle finger to Cedar's retreating back] 

  Emilio : Ole.

• Emilio : Here are some aspirins, Mr. Deeds. They make your head seem smaller.

• Longfellow Deeds : How did I get into these pajamas?

  Emilio : I changed you. I was very gentle, sir.

• Emilio : That is my mother's name... That is my birth date... That is my MONEY?

• Emilio : I will do good things, good things for everyone. Free flamenco lessons for all!

• [Lopez fires everyone on the board, and is about to fire Cecil Anderson...] 

  Longfellow Deeds : Ah, hold on a moment. Allow him to hang around a little longer. He can do a good job if you give him the chance.

  Emilio : Very well...

  [to Cecil] 

  Emilio : I shall expect you at seven tomorrow morning, so that I can change your socks.