Mr. Deeds (2002)

Conchata Ferrell: Jan

Photos 

Quotes 

• Babe : You must be Jan. My name is...

  Jan : I know who you are. Wham-Bam Dawson, a.k.a. Little Miss Slut-slut.

  Babe : Okay, I deserved that...

  Jan : Do you have any idea how much you hurt him? You're not getting anywhere near that boy.

  Babe : I have to find him, and there's nothing you can do to stop me.

  Jan : [rolls up her sleeves]  There's a lot I can do to stop you.

  Babe : He needs to know how bad I feel, and I would go to the end of the earth, I would do anything, *anything*, to take back what I did to him.

  Jan : ...I'm sorry? All I heard was, "blah blah blah, I'm a dirty tramp."

• [Babe Bennett is fighting against Jan, and Babe just kicked her in the crotch several times] 

  Jan : Where were you kicking? I ain't got no balls, dummy.

• Jan : Tell you what: you get by me, I'll tell you where he is.

  [cricks her neck] 

  Jan : Whoo! Feeling crazy!

  Babe : [takes off her coat]  Okay...

  Jan : Come to mama!

  [Babe charges, and Jan clotheslines her] 

  Babe : Ow...

  Jan : I was a rodeo clown for six years. You're gonna have to step it up a notch, shorty.

• [Deeds' poem is printed on greeting cards all over the state] 

  Babe : "Hard to breathe / Feels like floating..."

  Reuben : "So full of love my heart's exploding..."

  Emilio : [stroking a beautiful woman]  "Mouth is dry / Hands are shaking..."

  Cecil Anderson : [seated next to Kitty on a bench]  "My heart is yours for the taking..."

  Nazo, the Italian Delivery Man : [stroking a cat]  "Acting weird / Not myself..."

  Jan : "Dancing around like the Keebler elf..."

  Longfellow Deeds : "Finally time / for this poor schlubb / To know how it feels to fall in lub."

• Jan : Deeds isn't in right now, he's making deliveries 'cause our regular delivery guy called in sick. But you don't look very sick, Murph.

  Murph : Oh, I forgot I was fakin' sick today.

  [starts walking away] 

  Murph : You guys played me like a fiddle. Touche!

• Jan : I wanted to be a man!

  Longfellow Deeds : Huh, that explains a lot...

• [in the Pizza-Place, just after asking Jan if Deeds was there] 

  Cecil Anderson : Is Mrs. Deeds around?

  Jan : Mrs. Deeds? I don't think that poor boy ever had a date.