Small-budget and lame. Quentin Kemmer(Devon Gummersall)plays a wimpy comic book fanatic who works as a security guard at a biotech lab doing research with giving humans the natural traits of spiders. At home Quentin would dream of being like his comic book hero The Arachnid Avenger and concern himself with wanting to ask out Stephanie(Amelia Heinle) his neighbor living in the apartment next door. After the lab is broken into, Quentin decides to inject himself with experimental spider serum. That way he may take on newfound powers and impress Stephanie enough to notice him. He finds himself foiling a store robbery and even fighting off Stephanie's muggers. And even solving a crime for an impotent cop(Dan Aykroyd). But all is not going that good...the once mild mannered nerd is becoming more and more spider-like and less human. Also in the cast are: Theresa Russell, Christopher Cousins and John Cho.
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michaelRokeefe29 June 2004
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Carycomic13 February 2006You'd have this movie. It's about a security guard named Quentin who's an avid comic-book fan (which makes me empathize with him, so far). And, one night, masked gunmen (presumably eco-terrorists) raid the genetic research company where he works. His partner, Nick is struggling with one of them, after hitting the silent alarm. And when Quentin tries to help him, he is restrained by one of the so-called "real cops" who respond. As a result, Nick is killed, along with the cop's partner.
Quentin is ridiculed for letting that happen, and fired for being "negligent" in his duties (he was patrolling a different part of the building when the raid occurred). That's when he remembers that the shot-up lab is where they were injecting some mysterious red chemical into what look like pygmy tarantulas.
As his favorite comic book hero is the Arachnid Avenger (a thinly-disguised version of Marvel's Spidey, during his six-armed phase), he becomes a vigilante. The first enemy he defeats? A serial killer called the Mid-town Murderer, who makes the fatal mistake of targeting Stephanie, Quentin's pretty pre-med neighbor.
Enter "Detective Grillo," played--with very surprising realism--by Dan Akroyd. The Mid-town Murders were his case, and having someone else kill the perpetrator does not improve his current unpopularity among his fellow cops. Or, his unfaithful wife (played by Theresa Russell). Unfortunately, as Quentin's mutations increase, so does his appetite. And, he begins FEEDING on his (still less-than-sympathetic) targets!!!
*This includes Mrs. Grillo's lover, Officer Williams. The same policeman who accused Quentin of not being a real cop. I could be wrong. But, it looked as if he was fondling that webbed-up Goth girl, while supposedly untangling her.*
Unfortunately, after such a slow build-up, the show-down between Det. Grillo and Quentin is a little too rushed for my taste. We don't get shown if Grillo and his wife reconcile (assuming she merely fainted, instead of dying of fright, at the first sight of fully-mutated Quentin). Nor, do we see if Stephanie and Thor (Quentin's pet beagle) stay at, or move away from, the apartment building.
All we see is a ceramic model of Arachnoid Quentin exhibited by his Amerasian friend, the comic-book dealer (supposedly as a tribute). And, as if that anti-climax weren't bad enough, there's the misleading title itself. THIS IS NOT A REMAKE OF THE B/W 1958 MOVIE!
In fact, the only connection between the two is a TV clip of the latter. So, for those two reasons, I only give this a four-out-of-ten, rather than a halfway-decent five. -
willywants21 February 2004Before I begin my analysis, I would like to point out this is not a spiderman rip-off as it was released before spiderman trailers even came to the screen.That said, on with the review:
PLOT:A shy, obsessive comic book fan gets injected with an experimental serum of a lab that is studying how to give humans the abilities of spiders. At first he develops minor abilities such as increased strength, which allows him to fight local criminals and bullies, thus living out his dream of being a superhero, and impressing his attractive next-door neighbor. Things start to get more odd when he is able to shoot webs out of his abdomen. Then he loses control over the force with which he applies his increasingly deadly abilities, as well as his judgment to discern between criminals and jokesters. His dream becomes a nightmare when he starts growing large spider body parts, he's in constant pain, and he develops a nearly insatiable hunger. A detective with a traumatized wife begins investigating when bodies covered in cobwebs and spider venom start piling up.
DIRECTING: 7.5/10- The directing and editing for this type of film are top-notch. The production values and cinematography are top of the line and create a almost dream-like world. It's nothing super-stylish, but it is still fits the bill nicely.
WRITING: 5.5/10- The script comes across okay, but there are still a few cheesy lines here and there and the characters aren't all that realistic......
ACTING: 6/10- Dan Ackroyd comes across best, all the other cast members are fine and Devon Gummersall who plays Quenton is good as the ever mutating spider-monster.
GORE: 6/10- This film isn't gore driven, but it has some nice moments here and there. Victims get there blood drained, leaving mummy-like bodies, a guy gets flung across a hall and has his neck snapped, and more. The gore isn't graphic, and squeamish or faint of heart viewers won't have to turn away too much.
MONSTERS: We get the "Quentin arachnid" in many forms. He starts out like a deformed person i.e. the elephant man, and rapidly becomes a "Predator"-like monster with spider legs, etc. it's a damn cool monster, as cool as I could ask for from a made-for-cable film.
SPECIAL EFFECTS: 8.5/10- Special effects mastero Stan Winston delivers terrific creature effects and one but-ugly monster! Great work on the final stage of the transformation, too.
SOUNDTRACK:5/10- We get some groovy Jazz tunes, but nothing memorable.
FINAL VERDICT: "Earth vs. the spider" is a fun monster film/above average made-for-cable flick. Decent acting, solid production values, great monster, fun movie. I really enjoyed it and theres a funny in-joke at the very end.
My rating for "Earth vs. the spiders"--7/10. -
Sylvester16 May 2003For some reason film reviewers have created and now perpetuate the myth that this is a remake of the 1958 Bert Gordon film. Apart from the title, the Arkoff connection and the odd "in" reference (the leading character's surname is Kemmer - see cast list for the 1958 film), this dreadful tv movie has nothing whatsoever to do with the cult classic original. A cross between "Spiderman" and "The Fly", this uninspired and boring time-waster has a weak script, poor sets and a barely adequate cast. The make-up is reasonable but, despite the gap of nearly half a century, the special effects are nowhere near as good as those of the 1958 version - and Bert Gordon's films were not known for their lavish special effects budgets. Don't fail to miss it!
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Wow, this movie is just awful. First off, the spider isn't really vs. the world, the spider goes against Dan Aykroyd (giving a lazy performance). Secondly, the film has lousy special effects, and even worse voice acting.
The disappointing thing is, the film actually had me hooked for the first little bit. I like the concept of a man who thinks he is going to become a super hero, but ultimately ends up becoming a super villain. It's just too bad the villain is lame, and the hero is....well Dan Aykroyd.
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sammy-stokes11 December 2008When I first saw this movie, it appeared to be engaging, but it quickly became a cross between SpiderMan and The Fly, and that cross was not incredibly engaging. As an animal lover, especially beagles, I was happy his dog escaped his wrath, however, even that pacifying concept presented by the writers is trite. I don't recommend this movie in any capacity where you have to pay to watch it. The only possible exception is where you are up extremely late, with or without company.
The irony is, I love comic book stories, tragic and heroic. This one just flopped, period. Sorry, Dan Akroid, I love what you've done over your career, but this was, for lack of a better term, pooh. -
mark.waltz9 December 2023I didn't find the characters in this made for pay TV horror/sci-fi film either very smart or believable, from leading comic book geek Devon Gummersall to his love interest Amelia Heinle to over-the-hill detective Dan Ackroyd all the way down to the minor players. They include a weird boyfriend and girlfriend playing a sexual assault game in public that the spider venom infected Gummersall comes across in a convenience store and two local punks who keep harassing him and Heinle, as well as a creepy Theresa Russell as Ackroyd's addicted to everything toss aside trashy chick.
The special effects are absolutely disgusting to watch, and Gummersall's transformation into the huge spider seems to take forever to happen. He's not someone I rooted for as unlike Peter Parker later on in "Spider Man", he purposely has himself injected with spider venom from the ugliest, biggest tarantula I've ever seen. No way was this near the intelligence of the 1986 remake of "The Fly", and the web shooting out of Gummersall's navel had me laughing at the shear audacity of the poorly made up web shooter. Ackroyd plays a humorless character that any actor with half his talent could have played. Just ridiculous on every level of modern sci-fi shock trash. -
A title like Earth vs. the Spider is way too pretentious for a film of middling scale like this. What we have here is nothing more or less than a rip-off of the Fly. It feels shallow, pointless, maybe occasionally freaky, but hardly exciting. On top of that it has a majorly disappointing finale.
Quentin Kemmer is a security guard at a major biochemistry firm. He is a nice guy, and all he really wants out of life is a chance to be a hero. One afternoon there is a break in to the firm. Six people are killed, including his parter, and he blames himself for not being tough enough to prevent it. It a moment of hesitation he injects himself with the firm's latest top secret formula mixed from spider DNA. The next day he is a lot stronger, happier, and even gets a chance to be the hero he wants. As the days progress however, he gets hungrier, more deformed and dangerous to the point that he must stop himself before the beast within him gets loose.
The film is most involving when it explores the relationship between Quentin, and his lady friend next door, who he is shy of asking out. The entire film could've been based around this one thing and it would've been fine. However, another part of the plot concerns the investigation of Dan Akroyd's character which ends up amounting to nothing. What is more frustrating however is the total sloppiness of the climax. Like the film in its entirety, the last scene is random, rushed and insulting to the viewer. There is much to be explained when Earth vs. the Spider ends. The question is whether the story has gotten you involved enough to care, unfortunately no.
Neighbourhood vs. the Spider would be a more appropriate name. It is a small scale, not very effective creature feature, too short, and far too derivative. Monster fans will be disappointed I think. -
claudio_carvalho24 February 2005Quentin Kemmer (Devon Gummersall) is a shy and coward security guard and a passionate collector of comic books, who lives in a junkie building and has a crush on his next-door neighbor, the nurse student Stephanie Lewis (Amelia Heinle). However, he is too shy to declare his love for or invite her for a date. He works in a laboratory, which is studying and trying to develop a secret genetic weapon using the power and skills of the spiders. When the laboratory is robbed and his partner and great friend is killed with other persons by the criminals, Quentin feels under pressure with the situation and decides to inject himself the experimental vaccine. In the beginning, his strength and abilities increase and he feels like an arachnid superhero from his magazines. However, a couple of days later, he begins to transform himself into a giant spider-man hybrid, capable of throwing webs through his abdomen, developing claws in his mouth and prevailing the instincts and a non-stop hunger of the spiders over his will. Meanwhile, Quentin eliminates many persons, and Detective Jack Grillo (Dan Aykroyd) investigates the series of mysterious deaths in the neighborhood.
"Spider Vs. Earth" is a surprisingly good B-movie that recalls the horror and sci-fi stories of the 50's, inclusive with a noirish environment. The plot is good, with the exception of the unnecessary participation of Theresa Russell, in the role of an adultery and drunken wife. The slow transformation of Quentin into a spider slightly recalls the dramatic situation of "The Fly". My true and honest opinion is that the IMDb User Rating is totally unfair with this film. I bought the VHS and I do not regret. My vote is seven.
Title (Brazil): "A Maldição da Aranha" ("The Curse of the Spider")
Note: On 09 May 2023, I saw this film again. -
pikabot12 September 2005Me and my friend rented this movie in hopes that it would provide an hour's entertainment. And from the premise, this movie could have been good. Emphasis on could have been.
Basic premise: Comic-book geek, working as a night-shift security guard at some sort of biotech lab sees his partner gunned down in front of him and impulsively injects himself with super-spider juice. he comes down with a fever, and when he recovers, he's got superpowers! yay, right? Wrong. his transformation into a spider continues progressing, and his behavior becomes more and more bestial. he considers himself a threat to everyone around him, and eventually winds up killing people. I don't know how it ended because I turned it off about 3/4 of the way into it.
Frankly, it's amazing we lasted that long. We survived mostly by making fun of it relentlessly, but is really not much fun with this film as it lacks the outright ridiculousness of similarly poor movies such as Boa Vs. Python.
The camera-work is poor, the acting is terrible, and the plot such a clichéd mess that even the old Captain America cartoons have trouble competing in terms of sheer lameness.
if MST3K were still around, I'm sure they could make this comedic genius. Me, I just don't have the patience to sit through it. -
joshlemli23 June 2005This may not be the best film ever, but the writing and direction manages to be fresh around every bend. You'd expect lots of dumb noise-swell scares, cheesy one-liners, etc, but you'll find none of that here. Good old fashioned horror is alive and well here, and although this movie isn't the most involved or beautiful film you'll ever see, give it a chance.
The direction and cinematography is surprisingly good, and the transformation of the spider is done just right -- you don't see too much too soon, but just enough to keep it creepy and interesting. I really can't say enough about how this film avoided the pitfalls into which most big-budget movies stumble. Horror movies in particular, having made a big comeback in the last few years, suffer from cheap jump-out-at-you thrills, poor plot, and weak plot twists. This movie keeps it good and simple.
My favorite part is that you can sympathize with all the characters, which is especially awesome with the "villian." Oh, and the spider looks FRIKKIN AWESOME. But just as a forewarning, the ending is a little disappointing. -
Movie Nuttball3 August 2005Earth vs. the Spider is a good film that has a good cast which includes Dan Aykroyd, Devon Gummersall, Amelia Heinle, Theresa Russell, Christopher Cousins, Mario Roccuzzo, John Cho, Randall Huber, Zia Harris, Lloyd Lowe Jr., Michael Keenan, Ted Rooney, Dan Martin, and and Rob Hill. The acting by all of these actors is very good. Aylroyd is really excellent in this film. I thought that he performed good. The thrills is really good and some of it is surprising. The movie is filmed very good. The music is good. The film is quite interesting and the movie really keeps you going until the end. This is a very good and thrilling film. If you like Dan Aykroyd, Devon Gummersall, Amelia Heinle, Theresa Russell, Christopher Cousins, Mario Roccuzzo, John Cho, Randall Huber, Zia Harris, the rest of the cast in the film, Horror, Sci-Fi, Thrillers, Action, Dramas, and interesting films then I strongly recommend you to see this film today!
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Phillemos17 September 2006Wow. Where to begin. First of all, when you call your movie "Earth vs. the Spider," you set people up for a giant spider stomp-a-thon. This movie is nothing of the sort. I don't see any evidence that people in New Zealand or Bolivia are shaking in their shoes because some goofy kid is on a homicidal rampage after injecting himself with spider serum. I don't even see anyone else in the city panicking. The movie is also painfully slow. I had already just about fallen asleep watching "Shapeshifter" with my friends, but at least that movie had a hot lead actress. This movie has a fat Dan Aykroyd playing a police detective investigating the spider-boy's trail of killings (including a serial killer Aykroyd hadn't been able to catch). I wavered on whether Aykroyd worked in this role, because it's a little different than his usual performance. Overall I thought he wasn't bad, but if he wants to play an active police detective in future movies he definitely needs to hit the gym. But the movie is just too slow for my taste, and the misleading title kind of ruins it for me. I think a 2 is even a little generous for this flick.
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lucifer_198124 April 2004I should say i caught this little piece of gem the other day on tv and this tv movie was quite impressive.To begin with we have this kid who loses his job as a security officer at a research lab as he screws up a bust up by a bunch of crooks .To top it the kid injects himself with some potion say xxx which has something to do with spiders .So this kid will he become a super hero or some thing very sinister? thats for u to watch mucho. And well we have Dan akroyd as the investigating officer,and he gives a good performance.The movie builds upon the premise which we all dreamt when we were kids "to be a super hero with that special powers in order to save the world, save the girl and save the day". Quite a little neat movie i give it 4 otta 5.Have a good day.
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poolandrews20 November 2005Earth vs. the Spider is set in New York where nice guy Quentin Gemmer (Devon Gummersall) works as a security guard in a science research lab called 'Biochemco', he is an avid comic book reader his favourite strip being the 'Arachnid Avenger' & he has a huge crush on one of his neighbours a student nurse named Stephanie Lewis (Amelia Heinle), I think I would too to be honest. One night while at work some masked men break in & in an ensuing gunfight his partner Nick (Mario Roccuzzo) is shot dead, at the same time he is accidentally injected with an experimental serum... Quentin starts to change, he starts to think he has superpowers like his comic book hero & after he manages to kill the notorious 'Midtown Murderer' (Randall Huber) & discovers he can shoot spider webs from a hole in his chest he is convinced of it (as you would). But Quentin soon begins to realise that his new found powers come at a high price as he continues to change & mutate beyond all recognition as he soon discovers he has other more unwanted spider characteristics, Detective Inspector Jack Grillo (Dan Aykroyd) is in charge of cleaning the mess Quentin leaves behind...
Directed by Scott Ziehl Earth vs. the Spider was the first of five made for TV films produced by 'Creature Features' & isn't that impressive. The only connection this film shares with the original Earth vs the Spider (1958) is it's title. The script by Cary Solomon, Chuck Konzelman, Max Enscoe & Annie de Young can easily be split into to distinct sections. The first half of Earth vs. the Spider is basically a low-rent low-budget Spider-Man (2002), although I'm fully aware this was made before the Hollywood blockbuster it's just the two share remarkable similarities like shooting spider webs from bodily parts, superhuman powers, crime fighting after suffering an injustice, having a crush on a good looking bird but not being able to do anything about it because of what's happening to him & trying to keep his powers a secret &, of course, all the comic book references throughout. Then Earth vs. the Spider changes films to plagiarise & has a go at The Fly (1986), which was definitely made before this, as Quentin starts to transform & mutate into an insect & developing it's unwanted characteristics, again it bears striking similarities like the tragic relationship between himself & Stephanie which predictably ends in tears, unfortunately director Ziehl isn't a Cronenberg & you just don't care for the character's or what's happening to them, the only thing that really kept me watching Earth vs. the Spider was to see what Quentin would look like as a human spider mutant thing. I can't believe four people worked on the screenplay as it's rather disjointed, somewhat slow & predictable.
Director Ziehl doesn't really add much to the film in the way he shoots things, there's no real style or imagination about it & is pretty forgettable overall. The film has a strange feel as some of the props used indicate a 40's or 50's period film like the old fashioned camera & Quentin's ancient looking TV set while the cars, clothes & scientific equipment would lead one to believe it's set in modern times, maybe Ziehl couldn't make his mind up. There isn't really any blood or gore to speak of although the special make-up effects on the spider creature are fairly impressive.
Technically Earth vs. the Spider is bland & forgettable as most of these made-for-TV films are, having said that it's still well made with decent production values, music & photography. The acting is OK but nothing spectacular, Heinle is a very nice looking young lady & Aykroyd just looks embarrassed.
I will stop short of call Earth vs. the Spider a bad film but at the same time I can't call it a particularly good one either as it steals it's best ideas from other much better films, as I was watching this I got the feeling I'd seen it before. The sort of film that can pass an hour and a half painlessly enough but you will probably have forgotten about it within a week, average at best. In my humble opinion Mermaid Chronicles Part 1: She Creature (2001) is by far the best 'Creature Feature' so track that down instead. -
peter_deluxe13 April 2002in the beginning the film was really good. but then, when he got more and more a spider the film bored and sucked. no good qualitiy of special effects lame ending
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mdpah24 December 2001If your young or into comic book stories, I guess this movie is for you. I only watched it because Dan Aykroyd was in it, and I'm sure he did the move just for kicks. I must say I was a little disappointed.
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rps-220 November 2002It's hard to rate this film because I don't know what it's supposed to be: a horror picture, a comedy, a comedy-horror, a sci-fi flick, a sci-fi spoof or maybe just a bad movie. It's entertaining enough with decent effects. If these guys are being serious, it's a dreadful movie. If they're trying for a satire of drive in pictures, it's not bad. Is Dan Ackroyd doing good cop schtik or bad serious acting? Really is a dog's (a spider's?) breakfast.
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Leofwine_draca6 July 2016An inappropriate title adorns this weak rehash of 1986's THE FLY, with all of Cronenberg's chills and explicit gruesomeness watered down to a television movie level. Sadly, for fans looking for some giant creature action, the only thrills this movie offers are of the low-budget variety, and such thrills as they are come few and far between. Instead, this amateurishly-scripted nonsense treads the length of its storyline with too much talk and not enough action, and a rushed, anti-climatic ending which offers none of the destruction I had initially hoped for. More of a whimper than a bang. The film itself is part of a series of five movies called 'Creature Features', which - with the help of Stan Winston, Colleen Camp, Lou Arkoff and others - have been created as homages to the sci-fi/horror movies of the 1950s. I only hope that the other instalments are closer to the real thing than this disappointment.
Not that the film is totally bad; indeed there are a few redeeming qualities here and there, but the combination of a veteran actor (Dan Aykroyd) and a veteran effects man (Stan Winston) should have at least made a good film. My mistake. Dan Aykroyd does star as world-weary cop Jack Grillo, but his character is underdeveloped and performance-wise he simply goes through the motions in his own downtrodden way. Don't get me wrong, I love Aykroyd and his work, but this is definitely one of his lesser performances. The bulk of the screen time goes to fresh-faced newcomer Devon Gummersall but he's no Al Hedison or Jeff Goldblum; you never really sympathise with his plight, which is proof of this. The fact that the situation arises because Gummersall wants to be a superhero like in his comics also smacks of dumbing down (previous versions of the tale used science gone wrong as a basis for the horror to follow).
One genuinely good performance comes from female lead and Denise Richards lookalike Amelia Heinle, as the neighbour with a heart of gold who wants to help our lead out; her quiet, laid back character is a nice change from the screaming blonde heroines usually seen in modern horror fare. Theresa Russell also makes a small appearance playing an unlikable and slightly crazy character. The few deaths that the film offers are mostly off screen with nothing in the way of gore; the transformation effects are suitably icky but I was hoping for a little more realism from the Stan Winston Studio instead of just ripping off THE FLY. It doesn't help that 90% of the film takes place in a hallway and apartment room either. Sorely lacking in both action and intelligence, EARTH VS THE SPIDER is a disappointing film in which the various ingredients - tragedy, superhero worship and bodily deformation - never really gel. -
voidasunder17 September 2006i saw this on the sci-fi channel and it was a decent little movie. its basically what if the movies Spider-man and the Fly had a baby, and the baby grows up to be the Punisher. its also a warning to all the comic book fan boys out there not to inject themselves with irradiated spider juice. it never works out like you hope.
our main character is a shy, geek, boy who works at a low level security job for a bio-genetic research company. he likes a girl, but is too shy to ask her out, he reads comic books, and he wishes to be a super hero. he gets his chance, but things don't turn out like he planned. at heart he still want to be a hero and you can see that even when hes at his worst.
the story moves along nicely, even though it get s a little predictable. its fun to just watch how the story unfolds. it does remind one of the 1950s sci-fi horror movies, but with acting that isn't as over the top. -
ctomvelu124 November 2010Borrowing its name from a 1950s schlockfest, EARTH tells the tale of a nerd who is injected with a formula that slowly turns him into a spider-like creature. At first, he is a bit of a hero as he confronts criminals. But soon enough, he begins mutating into a truly hideous spider-like monster that will suck the marrow out of anybody and everybody. Nothing to write home about, EARTH has absolutely nothing to do with the original, which was about a giant spider on the loose. This low-budget TV movie actually owes more to the Jeff Goldblum version of THE FLY. Worth a look if you're a Dan Ackroyd fan. Ackroyd plays a detective hot on the trail of the spider guy.
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Lando_Hass3 June 2002Earth vs. the Spider was a pretty good film that gives the audience what they want.This film delivers good acting,very good make-up effects,and a well though out plot.There is a flaw that Earth vs. the Spider suffers from,and that flaw is that the special effects arent really all that great,and that the movie seemed to short.I really think that the make-up effects were terrific,and that the acting could have been better,but the movie is still great considering that it was made for TV only.I would recommend renting it before buying it,because this movie may not be appealing to some people.8 out of 10.
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Theo Robertson29 June 2003A geek gets bitten by a modified spider and develops superhuman powers . Hey wasn`t there a recent blockbuster based on the same premise ? Yes there was and you can`t help thinking that the producers of EARTH VS THE SPIDER are going out of their way to deconstruct everything flawed about Peter Parker . " People like nice guys " says Stephanie the hot chick neighbour of anti -hero Quentin , no they don`t Stephanie and being a nurse you should know this better than anyone . People - Especially hot chick nurses - like anti-heroes , they like people who clean up the streets of sex offenders and other slime , I mean crime is at an all time high and what`s Peter Parker doing about it ? He`s chasing after a man in a green costume ! He`s far to concerned about his cholesterol levels and newspaper deadlines to care about Joe Public
As you can guess EARTH VS THE SPIDER owes more to Stan Lee than it does to the B movie that shares its name . Of course it has none of the massive budget of the recent Sam Raimi blockbuster , in fact the production values of this film are rather weak with cobwebs that look like used chewing gum and mixed standards of make up , but for entertainment value I probably enjoyed this more than the not too dissimilar THE FLY
I didn`t like THE DAY THE WORLD ENDED , but I liked EARTH VS THE SPIDER and I loved SHE CREATURE and I hope someone makes a few more " Creature Features " -
Earth vs. The Spider: 3/10: Earth vs. the Spider is a very slowly paced movie. How slowly you ask? It makes Larry Cohen (It's Alive, Q) look like a music video director on methamphetamine. It makes Mike Leigh (Secrets and Lies) look like Michael Bay (Armageddon).
Director Scott Ziehl has a pretty good story idea to work with (What would happen if Spiderman took on the other spider attributes after his radioactive bite. You know extra legs, a thirst for human blood) and seems afraid to get to the obvious. Instead we have endless tangents about a cop that lost his nerve (Dan Ackroyd) and his alcoholic cheating wife(Theresa Russell).
Not just is this like skipping the shark attacks in Jaws to show an affair between the marine biologist and Mrs. Brody. But both Ackroyd and Russell are simply awful in their respective roles.
Add in a surprising amount of community theater level supporting work and a boring love interest. And Earth vs. The Spider gives us nothing to hold our interest. (In true comic book geek tradition our hero gets nothing but a chaste kiss. Needless to say there is no nudity gratuitous or otherwise. Kind of a surprise from a made for Showtime horror film.)
The movie, of course, has nothing to do with the pretty good monster movie from the fifties that share its name. And as a Spiderman parody Spiderbabe, a Misty Mundae soft-core porn film of all things, upstages it. The monster/superhero does make an appearance in the final ten minutes but I was really to bored to care and director Ziehl was still wrapping up boring love triangles instead of focusing on the good stuff.
Indeed if someone ever makes a Dogma 95 superhero movie I expect it to look like this.