7 April 2005 | dibrager
Ode to David Dickinson (and the staff of the show Bargain Hunt)
The pitch befell the rain before the pitch of tents to sell, Eight hundred antique dealers pitched their wares and wants so well. But through the throng, as ancient songs did hum from gramophone Did enter David Dickinson, with Blues and Reds along.
"I hereby give two hundred quid. Go, ye, find me a bargain!" As off did run the Reds and Blues, with cameramen a joggin' And experts following behind, not keeping with the pace, and knowing well some team will spend before they reach that place.
David, he did look abroad, then to his camera, quipped. "This here's the Sheffield's finest sale, but the weather's sunk a bit. "So though the prices would be high, the water's wearing down. "Disaster for the sellers, but Bargain Hunt's in town!"
The Reds, they found an hourglass of minted silver and stone. "That thing's a hundred and twenty quid," the keeper spat, alone. The expert said, "I don't believe its price will come at sale." But when Reds bought it anyway, his eyes did roll and wail.
The Blues, they found a coffret made in eighteen sixty two. "Slightly damaged," said the expert, "But that price will do." So they didn't haggle much as it was only fifty quid. Time was of the essence, two more items left to bid.
An hour passed, and David looked upon the gathered lot, To scour and to scowl at each of the many things they bought. His scrunched up face did quite deface Red's investment there. While Blues were quite content, excitement static'ed in the air.
A week to clean and polish before Red and Blue did seat Along with David Dickinson at a Lime Street auction meet. The hammers snapped, the sales ran, the time had quickly passed. And found the Blues deep in the blues, for they did come in last.
And so, with wry humility, the Duke did sigh and grin. For only time can tell the tale of just which side will win. "The winners this week were the Reds. They netted fifty four." Then flashed his grin, "Come back next week for two contestants more."