Barbra Jean: Maybe next time I'll marry someone whose ex-wife appreciates me!
[Van is sleeping, drooling on his sheets. Reba comes in telling him to wake up]
Van Montgomery: Awwww! I was dreaming about waffles!
Electrician: [to Barbra Jean, about Reba] Wow, your mom's a real grouch.
Barbra Jean: [Barbra Jean looks flattered] I know, right?
Reba: Jake Mitchell Hart, are you lying to me?
Jake Hart: Yes! No-one mocks me and gets away with it!
Reba: So, did that boy even go upstairs?
Jake Hart: No! And I didn't know he was a boy, I thought he was an ugly girl!
Reba: You are in big trouble! No tv, no dessert, and Grandma gets her cell phone back!
[She takes the gameboy SP back and Jake runs upstairs]
Reba: You want me to sign a permission form for bigamy?
Barbra Jean: [to Kyra] You bring people together. You're like a little Reverend Al Sharpton.
Van Montgomery: I'll be with my friends, you'll be with yours. Then we'll hook up later. It'll be just like junior year! Except we're married, you're pregnant, and everything is different.