6 May 2003 | Theo Robertson
A Stroke Of Genius ....
.... No I don`t mean the movie I mean the fact that in this American TVM the bad guy is a foreigner and he`s not British . Wow what a stroke of genius that is , the genuis . Unfortunately that`s the only radical thing about CABIN PRESSURE . Despite not being British the villain is one major cliche , a computer geek who wears a red polo neck sweater , green cords , greasy hair and spectacles , and who`s a socially inept loner whose only friend is a spider . This goes beyond cliche and becomes close to offensive . Within 20 minutes you`re wishing the computer geek is from Britain and is played by Gary Oldman or Sean Bean .
And even if the producers had the money for a big name Brit actor there`s no way a star name would want to sully their reputation by appearing in this rubbish . And make no mistake this is rubbish . The bad guy is unconvincing as is the hero who`s a former alcoholic . I guess being a bland cypher he need an identifiable character flaw but that doesn`t disguise the fact that he`s just there to spout lines and save the day . But the lack of characterisation is the least of the problems with the script , let`s look at the whole concept of a computer controlled plane :isn`t there something totally ridiculous with the whole concept ? I mean I`m sure that in real life someone has thought up the whole idea and dismissed it precisely on the grounds of someone hacking into the controls . Oh look out for a very contrived plot twist where someone turns up at the hospital after being bitten by a funnel web spider , which also leads to a plot hole by the hero not asking about an Austin Powers lookalike
So what would I have done with the script ? It`s very simple , one of the characters on the plane is Senator Caulfield who is on the plane with his son and daughter in law . The daughter in law is called Brandee and she is a very fit blonde and the whole film would have worked if it was set around the premise of the computer geek being a bit of a perv and demanding the senator have sex with Brandee or else he will crash the plane . This would lead to cinema goers all over the world to discuss INDECENT PROPOSAL type questions like " If some pervy geek had hacked into a plan`s control system would you have depraved sex with your father in law if your life depended upon it ? "