- Pearl Forrester: [over clips of "Batman & Robin"] Y'know, in the last one, George Clooney was played by "The Saint", and then two before that, George Clooney was played by Beetlegeuse. Listen up, you studio dumbbells out there: George Clooney should ONLY be played by George Clooney, period!
- Crow T. Robot: [after showing clips from "The Lost World: Jurassic Park"] "People looking" made "Lost World" the feel-good movie of the summer.
- Mike Nelson: But mostly, it's about dinosaurs, right?
- Crow T. Robot: [confused] ... No, I... don't think so.
- [chuckles; to camera]
- Crow T. Robot: What the hell is his deal?
- Professor Bobo: [on the "Men in Black" trailer, Zed says, "You are no longer part of the system."] Why is he no longer part of the system?
- Crow T. Robot: Shut up!
- Professor Bobo: [Agent J says, "You know what the difference is between you and me?"] What?
- [Agent J says, "I make this look good."]
- Professor Bobo: [laughs] "I make this look good!"
- Crow T. Robot: I hate people who talk in the theater.