I am absolutely bewildered why "Gigli" got all this flack for being "the worst movie ever", and "Jersey Girl" got a pass. "Jersey Girl" is infinitely worse than "Gigli", which was an unfairly maligned, modest comedy....not a good film, but far from the worst movie I have ever seen.
On the other hand, "Jersey Girl" was saccharine and more maudlin than a Lifetime TV movie. Some of the worst acting and scriptwriting I can remember seeing, and a huge disappointment coming from Kevin Smith. I loved "Chasing Amy" and can recall when I first saw that film, thinking what great things were coming from Mr. Smith and Ben Affleck...wow, that's hard to believe now. I think Ben Affleck is one of the worst, most talentless actors working today, and Kevin Smith has betrayed what little promise he first demonstrated. A classic example of selling out.
I realize that films don't have to be absolutely literally authentic to "work" or to resonate with an audience, but "Jersey Girl" feels like something created by people who have never had children, had jobs or experienced a single recognizable human emotion.
Ben Affleck plays Ollie Trinke (pronounced TRINKIE), a name that you'd think would be a liability in the professional world. Nonetheless, he becomes a marketing exec making a six figure salary. He marries J-Lo, whose character is named Gertrude Steiney, implying strongly that she is a Jewish girl from New York, when in fact she is (obviously) Hispanic....I really don't get this. And when was the last time you met a YOUNG woman named Gertrude? It's not a very common name for anyone under the age of 80.
Gertie dies in childbirth (a rarity these days, but it can happen) and Ollie becomes unhinged and neglects his newborn daughter, leaving her in the care of his aging father (?). Apparently, even though he has a six figure income, the idea of a nurse, a nanny or even a babysitter has not occurred to Ollie or anyone else in the film. (HINT: many real life people make these arrangements BEFORE coming home from the hospital.)
After being fired for a public meltdown where he insults The Fresh Prince, Ollie is fired. (Apparently his bosses have not a bit of sympathy for a man who lost his wife just a couple weeks earlier, and is maybe having a breakdown.) Ollie apparently has no savings and receives no severance pay, because he goes from being a six figure executive with a Manhattan apartment to having to move in with his father.
Here the film gets really confusing, because seven (presumably boring childcare-filled) years are quickly skipped over and we see little Gertie, who is now seven, with Ollie, who has inexplicably taken a job as a street sweeper. Yes, that's right: a marketing executive, who probably has a master's degree, is forced to take a job as a street sweeper. There is not one single job in all of New York City, even in another field such as publishing, sales, etc. And his salary as a street sweeper (a unionized city job) does not pay enough for him to afford an apartment of his own, even in New Jersey.
This is what I mean by "written by someone who has never had children or a job". This is the kind of writing that is utterly out of touch with the real world, that can only be produced by hacks, utilizing scriptwriting software. It's an insult to the lives of real single parents and real human beings.
There is not the remotest explanation of who watched Gertie for the first five years of her life (years which are skipped in the film). Child care, even for a widowed parent, is apparently unknown...on the other hand, when does Mr. Smith think that street sweepers work? DURING THE DAY. So, someone somewhere had to be taking care of Gertie for the first five years of her life. Duh.
I cannot provide any spoilers, because around this point I couldn't stand it anymore. And I am not even going into the tasteless sex jokes and the depressingly slutty behavior of Liv Tyler's thankless character. Because I had to turn the movie off, I couldn't stand it anymore. This is only the second time in my whole life that I actually refused to watch a movie through to the end.
This is the bomb of the year and "Gigli" has been unfairly maligned. "Jersey Girl" is an absolutely horrible movie and you should avoid it at all costs...an insult to human intelligence.
