Shanghai Knights (2003)

Jackie Chan: Chon Wang

Photos 

Quotes 

• Roy : So what did your dad do? Was he an imperial guard?

  Chon Wang : No, much more important. He was the Keeper of the Imperial Seal.

  Roy : That's what I love about China. Everybody's job description sounds so damn cool!

• Chon Wang : The English are not very friendly.

  Roy : They're just sore losers.

  Chon Wang : What did they lose?

  Roy : A little thing called the American Revolution, Chon.

  Chon Wang : Never heard of it.

  Roy : I'll give you the highlights. They came over with about a million men. We had a bunch of farmers with pitchforks and beat 'em like a drum.

• [Lin slaps Chon Wang] 

  Chon Wang : I just saved you!

  Chon Lin : You were late!

• Roy : Chon, I have a confession to make.

  Chon Wang : You are in love with my sister?

  Roy : Well, that, but I didn't lose all the money on the zeppelins.

  Chon Wang : No?

  Roy : Nah. I blew most of it on the Roy O'Bannon novels. I wrote them.

  Chon Wang : No, Sage McCallister wrote them.

  Roy : That's what I'm saying, buddy. I'm Sage McCallister.

  Chon Wang : You wrote those lies?

  Roy : I've always had low self-esteem.

  Chon Wang : How many books did you print?

  Roy : I self-published probably a million copies. We were actually second to the Bible that year.

• Roy : You got any ideas?

  [looks down] 

  Chon Wang : We jump.

  Roy : Jump?

  [pauses] 

  Roy : You mean fall?

• Chon Wang : Who would leave a pile of stones in the middle of a field?

  Roy : I don't know, Chon, these people are nuts.

• Fagin #1 : Come here, you little rubbish eater! What did I tell you about poncing on our turf, Charlie?

  Charlie Chaplin : I'm on the straight and narrow, honest!

  Fagin #1 : [frisks Charlie and finds Roy's watch]  What's this, then?

  [Charlie rolls his eyes] 

  Fagin #1 : After I'm through beating you, you're gonna wish you *never* ran away from the workhouse!

  Chon Wang : Leave the boy alone!

  Fagin #2 : Bloody tourists. Get your noses out of it!

  Roy O'Bannon : Guys, do whatever you want to the kid, but that's my watch you're holding.

  Fagin #1 : Well, there's a *load* of us and only two of you, so piss off!

  Roy O'Bannon : Easy, fellas. You've lost *one* war this way. Don't make the same mistake twice.

• Chon Wang : You know what I call him? Not Roy O'Bannon. Roy O'Boloney!

• Roy : Look at you!

  Chon Wang : Look at you!

  Roy : What brings you to New York?

  Chon Wang : My share of the gold.

  Roy : Refresh my memory. What gold are we talking about?

• Chon Wang : For father.

  Chon Lin : For father.

  Roy : For Old Man Wang.

• Roy : There's this new thing they're starting out in California: moving pictures. There's no sound, so we won't have to worry about the language problem, and I think the kung fu stuff could be huge! People are dying for a good action flick.

  Chon Wang : Chon Wang...

  [sounds like "John Wayne"] 

  Chon Wang : ...movie star? It could work.

• [after opening the puzzle box] 

  Roy : It's just a rock with some gibberish on it!

  Chon Wang : It's Chinese!

• Roy : [Seeing the Imperial Seal]  That diamond is as big as a damn monkey's paw.

  Chon Wang : Roy, don't even think about it.

  Roy : Just admiring the craftsmanship, Chon.

• [Wang is trying to save Roy who is tied up under water. All we can hear are their garbled voices. Subtitles appear on screen] 

  Roy : Where have you been?

  Chon Wang : I was busy.

  Roy : Unbelievable!

  Chon Wang : Patience, Roy.

  Roy : Tell that to the eel swimming up my ass!

• Chon Wang : We are wasting time.

  Roy : What do you think I've been doing? Sittin' here and drinking expensive hooch?

  [to Charlie] 

  Roy : Boy, refill.

• Chon Wang : Wu Chow!

  Roy : Wu who?

• Chon Wang : If you break her heart, I break your legs.

  Roy : That's fair.

• Chon Wang : Roy! The painting! It's looking at me!

  Roy : Oh yeah, it looks like it's looking at me too. That's great.

• Chon Wang : Roy! There you are. Need anything, buddy?

  Roy : A whole lot of "leave me alone."

• [Handing Doyle Roy's watch] 

  Chon Wang : What else can you tell?

  Doyle : The owner of this watch is a bad gambler and a lousy shot. Although he's cheated death several times, he spends most of his life wandering in a rather pathetic and futile search for purpose and respect... oh, yes. He has a penchant for loose women.

• Charlie Chaplin : [reading an invitation]  "Lord Nelson Rathbone requests the pleasure of your company at a gala affair celebrating her Majesty's 50th year on the throne."

  Chon Wang : Sounds good.

  Roy : Yeah, it doesn't address the issue of security. They're not just gonna let me and Chon waltz into the castle.

  Charlie Chaplin : All you need is a proper disguise.

  Roy : I do like a good disguise...

• [why Chon should sleep with the woman for money] 

  Roy : Think about your sister in London.

  Chon Wang : What?

• Chon Wang : Slow down, slow down!

  Roy : I'm a bat out of hell! Besides, I don't know where the brake is.

• Roy : Can I tell you something?

  Chon Wang : What?

  Roy : This is a hell of a damn adventure we're on and I'm having an absolute ball with you.

• [last lines in outtakes] 

  Chon Wang : Roy! Roy! My ass is on fire.

• Chon Wang : Who loves you, baby?

• Chon Wang : It's a puzzle box. I don't know how to open it.

  Roy : What do you mean, you don't know how to open it? You just get a hammer and smash it open so you can see what it says.

  Chon Wang : No. I must have patience. By the time I'm able to open it, I will be ready to read the message.

  Roy : Oh, come on, Confucius, that's the corniest thing I've ever heard!

• Chon Wang : I look like a fool.

  Roy : What? You're a Maharajah! That's Indian royalty!

  Chon Wang : But I'm Chinese.

  Roy : It's the same thing.

• Chon Wang : What do you see?

  Roy : He just pulled a fancy dragon key out of his desk.

  Chon Wang : That was my father's! I must avenge his honor.

  Roy : Slow down, Tiger. Slow down. Quit going all Chinese on me.

• Chon Wang : Roy come on!

• Chon Wang : Wu Chow.

  Roy O'Bannon : Wu who?

  Chon Lin : He's the Emperor's bastard brother.

  Chon Wang : He was banished from the Forbidden City for trying to steal the Imperial Seal.

  Chon Lin : After Father caught him, he vowed to return to claim the Emperor's tomb.

  Roy O'Bannon : This guy?

• Chon Wang : There's a woman in there! She wants me to sleep with her!

  Roy O'Bannon : Of course she does. I told her the Great Wall ain't the *only* big thing coming out of China.

  Chon Wang : Why did you say that?

  Roy O'Bannon : So you can get the money.

  Chon Wang : I will *not* sleep with women for money!

  Roy O'Bannon : Why? I'm gonna sleep with *her* for money.

  [shows Chon the woman in his bed] 

  Roy O'Bannon : Chon, just go in there and do your business, and think about your sister in England.

  Chon Wang : What?

• [Chon and Roy enter the lobby; Roy whistles, then gasps and drags Chon back around the corner] 

  Roy O'Bannon : [whispering]  Cops, cops.

  Chon Wang : They can help us.

  Roy O'Bannon : No, no, no, no, Chon! Chon, not these cops. These are dirty cops. They take advantage of people. Now, if they stop us, remember, I'm *not* Roy O'Bannon.

  Chon Wang : [confused]  Who *are* you?

  Roy O'Bannon : I'm your friend, Smokey Desperado from the West.

  Chon Wang : And who am *I*?

  Roy O'Bannon : You? You're Benny Hana.

  Chon Wang : Benny Hana.

  Roy O'Bannon : Yeah, you teach, uh, you teach crippled children yoga here in the city.

  [pushes Chon forward] 

  Roy O'Bannon : OK, you go first.

  Chon Wang : [struggles]  No! Why me?

  Roy O'Bannon : Because you blend in, OK?

  [Chon looks down at his clothes] 

  Roy O'Bannon : Now, go. Don't let 'em see you!

  Chon Wang : [covers his face with his hat, walks a few steps and looks back at Roy; points to himself]  Benny Hana.

  [Roy gives a thumbs up]