Kevin James: You know, when you're a fat guy you don't need a reason to sweat. Guys come up to me and go "Jeez... what have you been doing - jumping rope in the attic or something?"..."Umm, no... I peeled an orange about an hour ago, why?"
Kevin James: How big are muffins going to get before we all join hands across America? Have you seen them? They're huge. "Yeah, I'll take a coffee and... Oh, my God! Yeah, I'll have the beanbag chair with raisins."
Kevin James: Let go of the damn door! Sit your ass on the kerb, I will come around and let ya in!
Kevin James: [Peeling the cheese off a piece of pizza and handing it to someone else] There, there's your skin-flap. That piece that looks like my ass caught fire and somebody put it out with an old t-shirt is yours.