1 February 2004 | ferguson-6
Elvis lives, number nine
Greetings again from the darkness. What a total waste of a cool cast. Having never read Elmore Leonard's novel, I can't say whether the movie butchered the book or not. I can say that this is an extremely unfunny, poorly made movie with a ridiculous story that had me flashing back to those Elvis in Hawaii movies ... only without the charm and music! Director George Armitage ("Miami Blues", "Grosse Point Blank") either hated the story or called in sick everyday. Supermodel Sara Foster lacks the acting chops for her vital role in this triple-crossing fiasco. Talented screen veterans Morgan Freeman and Gary Sinise are totally wasted in this and comics Owen Wilson, Bebe Neuwirth and Charlie Sheen require some funny material to work their magic. Have I mentioned that the script was awful? Everytime I got my hopes up, I was left feeling empty. The domino game with Freeman, Wilson, Willie Nelson and Harry Dean Stanton could have been a classic scene, but instead fell flat. Even an early scene with football heroes Tony Dorsett, Mike Renfro and Pete Johnson goes nowhere because they are just treated as window dressing. When a movie wastes Vinnie Jones ("Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels") we know it has nothing going for it. The scenes of Hawaii and the beautiful shoreline and water are the only good things to be taken from this.