Return to the Batcave: The Misadventures of Adam and Burt (2003 TV Movie)

Burt Ward: Burt Ward

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Adam and Burt are about to fight four henchman at the Arizona Bar] 

  Burt Ward : Well?

  Adam West : I say we fight our way out like we always did.

  Burt Ward : We had stuntmen then. Even if mine was always on a coffee break.

• [after Adam disarms a bomb] 

  Burt Ward : Good thing that bomb was a fake.

  [the bomb explodes and Burt is sent flying out of the cave by the blast, Adam walks out unharmed] 

  Burt Ward : How come you didn't get burned?

  Adam West : Stuntman.

  Burt Ward : [disgusted]  Dang!

• [Adam and Burt are at a diner. Burt reads a menu] 

  Burt Ward : Holy lunch specials! Look at this.

  Adam West : It appears to be a menu, Burt. Not an unusual thing in a place like this.

  Burt Ward : But look what's *on* the menu, or rather *who*. A "Burgess Burger... "

  Adam West : What?

  Burt Ward : "Gorshin Franks and Beans... " "Cesar Romero Salad... " "Vincent Fries... " They even have drinks. Look, a "Julie New-Martini."

  [Burt hands Adam the menu and Adam reads it] 

  Adam West : "Art Chili Con Carney... " "Zsa Zsa Gabor... " "Liberace... " All these people disguised as daily specials!

  Burt Ward : Almost every actor who played a villain our characters battled.

  Adam West : Battled? Yes, and triumphed over. Any one of them could still be harboring a grudge.

  Burt Ward : Adam, they're only actors.

  Adam West : I'm sure they'd like us to think so, Burt. But there's more here than meets the eye.

  [Adam and Burt look around suspiciously] 

  Adam West : Very odd.

  Burt Ward : What's that?

  Adam West : [checking his watch]  It's time for an act break, but that voice is strangely absent.

  Burt Ward : *He* must be on a break.

  Adam West : Possibly. But now that he's not here, I miss him.

• Adam West : [after driving all night to the Arizona border in the search for the Batmobile]  I think the clue is in our past, somewhere...

  Burt Ward : What's this?

  [removes flyer from under the car's windshield wiper] 

  Adam West : ...we still have to find it.

  Burt Ward : [reads flyer]  Hey Adam, look. The Highway to Arizona Bar is having a Happy Hour. Great place. Just down the street from the car museum.

  Adam West : [grabs flyer and reads it with stunned disbelief]  You... you... you *knew* about that place?

  Burt Ward : [not getting it]  Yeah. Why?

  Adam West : [aggravated]  Oh!

  Burt Ward : [thinks about it and realizes they've driven all night for nothing]  Ohhhhhhhhhhhh!

• [Adam and Burt are sitting in the Batmobile at the charity event] 

  Burt Ward : Wow. You know, it seems like almost yesterday.

  Adam West : Almost thirty-five years Burt. Time tumbles by.

  Burt Ward : You know I forget what some of these buttons do.

  Adam West : I wouldn't touch those if I were...

  [Burt presses a button and oil slick sprays out onto the crowd] 

  Burt Ward : Ohhhhhhhhhhhh! Sorry, I didn't know it was loaded.

  Adam West : That's why they usually left the driving to me.

• [after the Batmobile's been stolen and leaves fire-tire tracks] 

  Charity Event Host : The Batmobile's been stolen.

  Adam West : [holding up his car key]  Using my key.

  Burt Ward : Holy tire tracks! Look, they go from two to one. It went out on two wheels. That fiend.

  Adam West : He may be a fiend, but he's an excellent driver.

• Burt Ward : Good guys don't lurk!

• Adam West : We've entered the mind of a madman.

  Jerry the Butler : My mind and welcome to it.

  Adam West : Alfred?

  Jerry the Butler : Jerry! How many times do I have to tell you? It's Jerry!

  Burt Ward : The butler did it. We should've seen this coming a mile away.

  Adam West : Diabolical!

  Jerry the Butler : Even more than you think, Mr. West.

  [Jerry unmasks himself and it is Frank Gorshin] 

  Burt Ward : Holy plot twist! Your butler is... Frank Gorshin?

• Burt Ward : Holy Props Department, Batman!