The Whole Ten Yards (2004)

Bruce Willis: Jimmy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Lazlo : You killed my Strabo.

  Jimmy Tudeski : Actually, Strabonitz was already dead. He got shot when your hitter tried to shoot us.

  Lazlo : [looks at Julie]  Is this true?

  Julie : Hey, Lazlo. Shit happens, all right?

  Lazlo : Oh, yeah? Watch this shit happen.

  [He grabs Jill's gun hand and shoots Julie] 

• Jill : [refering to Jimmy's crucifix]  Where did he get it, Oz?

  Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : I don't know.

  [in a flash, Jill is holding the point of a knife to his Adam's apple] 

  Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : [very fast]  It's Cynthia's; she got it from her grandmother when she was a child, and Cynthia gave it to Jimmy for good luck on hits.

  Jimmy Tudeski : [grabs Oz by the throat]  You say you're not a squealer! Huh?

• Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : [hears and sees Jimmy shooting bullets at him]  Jimmy! Jimmy, don't shoot! It's me, it's Oz!

  Jimmy Tudeski : I know.

  [shoots at him again] 

  Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : OK, that almost hit me!

• [Jimmy, Oz, and Cynthia are Lazlo's prisoners; Jill, outside, has Lazlo's son hostage] 

  Lazlo : [shouting]  Where's my son?

  Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : All right, that's it!

  Cynthia : Oz...

  Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : No, I've had enough!

  [suddenly tough] 

  Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : If you ever want to see your son again, you'll let us go right now.

  Lazlo : Is that right?

  Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : Yeah, that's right! And if we're not out of here by 11:00, Jill's gonna put one in Strabo's forehead. Just like Jimmy put one in Janni's forehead. Oh... it wasn't pretty.

  Lazlo : [enraged]  Give me a gun.

  Jimmy Tudeski : [impressed]  Not bad, Oz.

  Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : Thanks.

• Jimmy Tudeski : [catchs Oz and a topless Jill holding each other]  What's all this?

  [look to Oz] 

  Jimmy Tudeski : First my ex-wife, now my wife-wife.

  Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : No, no, no! She just hated her outfit.

  Jimmy Tudeski : Come here.

  Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : [to Jill]  I think he wants to talk to you for a minute.

  Jimmy Tudeski : [points at Oz]  No, you.

  Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : Oh.

  [Jimmy grabs Oz and throws him against the wall] 

• Jimmy Tudeski : [to Oz]  Squeal bag! Squealster! Remington Squeal!

• Jimmy Tudeski : Oh no! Look it! Blanche!

  Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : Who's Blanche?

  Jimmy Tudeski : Consuelo! Xerxes! Alert the others! There's been a tragedy!

  Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : Who's Blanche?

  Jimmy Tudeski : This is Blanche. You killed her.

  Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : I'm sorry.

  Jimmy Tudeski : Go home, Oz. Go home before something bad happens.

  Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : Something bad already has happened; Cynthia's been kidnapped!

  Jimmy Tudeski : Blanche, put down in her prime...

  Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : He names his chickens! You name your chickens?

  [Jimmy runs away crying] 

  Jimmy Tudeski : WAAAHHHH! Blanche! You're DEAD!

• Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : So this is how a retired mass murderer acts.

  Jimmy Tudeski : No. This is how a retired mass murderer acts when people show up uninvited for dinner!

  [grabs Oz by the throat] 

  Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : Noted.

• Jimmy Tudeski : [Jill points a gun at him]  You don't have the balls.

  Jill : Ha. This coming from a guy who rarely gets it up.

  Cynthia : That's funny. He never had that problem with me.

• Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : Hell, you were shooting at me in Mexico. Was that all part of the plan?

  Jimmy Tudeski : As a matter of fact. It was. Yeah.

• Jimmy Tudeski : Stay away from my chickens, Oz.

• Jimmy Tudeski : If you ever grab me like that again, I will stick a knife in your face.

• Jimmy Tudeski : Do unto others before you're turned into a pillar of salt.

  Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : A pillar of salt?

  Jimmy Tudeski : Yeah. Moses said that. Read the bible, Oz!

• Jimmy Tudeski : [Talking to Lazlo while getting shot at]  Did you hire a hitter?

  Lazlo : I can't really remember. Why? Is somebody shooting at you?

• Jimmy Tudeski : [referring to Lazlo]  Jill, tie him up!

  Jill : What am I gonna tie him up for? I'm gonna kill him!

• [from trailer] 

  Jimmy Tudeski : You refused to follow the ABCs of professional killing!

  Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : There's an actual ABC for professional killing?

  Jimmy Tudeski : Shut up!

• Jill : For two years I have been begging you to go back to work and then when Cynthia gets kidnapped, you're off to the races.

  Jimmy Tudeski : Off to the races?

• Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : [after Oz wakes up naked in a bed with Jimmy]  What the hell happened last night? And why does my ass hurt?

  Jimmy Tudeski : You fell down a flight of stairs.

• Strabo : [after seeing Jimmy and Oz in a bed together]  A little male bonding?

  Jimmy Tudeski : Just like C-Block, huh, Strabo?

  Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : [in the background]  I fell down the stairs, Strabo!

• Jimmy Tudeski : You know I was a bedwetter?

  Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : You don't do it anymore, do you?

  Jimmy Tudeski : When I was 12 I saw my father naked in a shower.

  Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : Well, that's probably why you wet the bed. Very Freudian. Jungian.

• Jimmy Tudeski : What is this?

  [referring to a tower of glasses on the table] 

  Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : It's what we've been building for the last few hours.

  Jimmy Tudeski : Well, get it out of here!

  Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : Why?

  Jimmy Tudeski : Because I hate it! It makes me sad.

• Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : I don't think God keeps an eye on your sperm. What kind of job is that for God? It'd take him all day. I'm gonna throw up.

  Jimmy Tudeski : [later]  Did you have a good relationship with your father?

  Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : Yeah, we were like pals.

  Jimmy Tudeski : I wanna to kill my father. I want to take a icepick and stick it right in his eyeball.

  Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : Still gonna throw up.

  Jimmy Tudeski : We had some great times though.

  Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : You and your father?

  Jimmy Tudeski : No. Me and Cynthia.

  Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : [burps]  That's almost vomit.

• Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : Why don't you just consider adopting.

  Jimmy Tudeski : Come on, Oz, how many adoption agencies are gonna give a kid to a professional killer.

  Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : You may have a point there.

  Jimmy Tudeski : Maybe I could just steal a kid. They're small. How hard can that be?