Char: Traveling with an elf? What? Your boyfriend couldn't make it?
Char: [disappointed] Oh.
Ella: Because I don't have a boyfriend.
Char: [happily] Oh.
Ella: What about you? Your girlfriend doesn't mind being left alone?
Char: I don't have a girlfriend.
Ella: [happily] Oh.
Char: I have many.
Ella: [disappointed] Oh.
Char: I'm kidding, you shouldn't believe everything you read in Medieval Teen.
Ella's Mother: Look to yourself, Ella. What's inside you is stronger than any spell.
[after chaining Ella to a tree]
Slannen the Elf: You are one freaky chick.
Char: You can curtsy or not; that's your choice. There's nothing I can do about it... except have you beheaded, but that seems a bit extreme.
Char: These last few days have been so perfect. Except for the bit where we almost got eaten by ogres. And you wrote a letter that ripped out my heart. And I had to dance with Hattie.
Ella: I wonder if my opponent is basing her opinion on the Prince's politics or how cute she thinks his butt is?
Ella: Now, I need you to go back into the forest and rally all the elves and giants you can find.
Slannen the Elf: You want me to go back in there?
Ella: Yes. You're going to need all the help you can get. Now someone has to get back into the castle, find Benny and then keep Char away from Edgar.
Slannen the Elf: Why? What's going on?
Ella: I already told you, I can't tell you, but... but if you don't, you might be stuck singing "Kum-ba-ya" for the rest of your life!
Ella: I think you're gonna be a great king some day.
Narrator: Fairy tales tell, as their labels imply / Stories of magic, of creatures that fly / With giants and dragons and ogres and elves / And inanimate objects that speak for themselves / There's romance and danger and plotting of schemes / There's good guys and bad guys and some guys in-between / A fairy tale also reveals some sort of truth / The perils of choices we make in our youth./ But our story today is different in theme./ For our hero had no choice or so it would seem./ It starts with a fairy bestowing a spell./ This one's a baby named Ella of Frell.
Narrator: Now it's back to the real world all of you I must send / For I've only two words left and they are, "The End."
Edgar: I trust you found everything to your satisfaction?
Ella: Yes, thank you.
Edgar: Good, good.
[Edgar knocks book off table]
Edgar: Oh, dear. How clumsy of me. Pick it up.
[Ella picks it up]
Edgar: Very good. Now touch your toes.
Ella: [touching her toes] Oh, no.
Edgar: Oh, yes. And while you're about it, why don't you pat your head and rub your tummy at the same time?
[Ella does so]
Edgar: Now jump up and down.
Ella: [jumping up and down] Please stop.
Edgar: Wait. Perhaps you know this one.
Edgar: Put your left foot in...
[Ella puts left foot in]
Edgar: ...put your left foot out...
[Ella puts left foot out]
Edgar: ...put your left foot in...
[Ella puts left foot in]
Edgar: ...and shake it all about. Shake, shake, shake. Shake, shake, shake.
Edgar: Shake your booty. Shake your booty.
[Ella shakes booty]
Edgar: Oh ho! This is fabulous!
Heston: Hate to be a party pooper, but Edgar, evil plans, remember?
Edgar: Yes, you're right
Edgar: Okay, stop.
Ella: I don't need your chivalry, thanks. And I have no intention of curtsying either, so you can forget it.
Char: Well let me see, so far the score is chivalry two, gratitude zero.
Ella: Why don't you like music?
Slannen the Elf: Oh that's right, because elves are supposed to be so happy and joyful all the time. Singin' and dancin' for the *man*. I don't want to be an entertainer. I want to be...
Slannen the Elf: Nothin...
Ella: No, what were you going to say.
Slannen the Elf: Forget it. It's silly.
Ella: Please tell me.
Slannen the Elf: I want to be a lawyer.
Benny: I guess that would be in small claims court.
[a bunch of other girls are cheering for Prince Charmont]
Ella: Say no to Ogrecide!
Ella: You're about to become king. You'll have the power to make a difference in the world, and you don't even care.
Char: It's not like I asked to become king. I have no say in the matter.
Ella: Well thanks to your uncle, there are a lot of people who have no say in the matter. Nobody should be forced to do things they don't want to do. Take it from somebody who knows.
Slannen the Elf: [rustling] Oh no... The rustling always comes before the screaming and the running. I *knew* this was gonna happen! They're just gonna find pieces of us scattered across the forest.
Benny: [a rabbit hops out of the bushes] Oh, a bunny. You know, the last known case of a bunny attack was, well, *never*.
Fairy Administrator: Can I help you?
Ella: Hello. I'm looking for Lucinda Perryweather. Actually, its kinda urgent.
Fairy Administrator: Sorry toots, she was kicked out last week.
Ella: Do you know where I can find her?
Fairy Administrator: Nope.
Ella: [franticly] No, you don't understand! If I don't find her by tonight, something terrible is going to happen!
Fairy Administrator: Finding her would be something terrible.
Narrator: In spite of the spell, Ella grew up strong of mind./ Her gift made her obedient, but her heart made her kind
Narrator: So Ella now knew why she'd always obeyed,/ but she never stopped fighting to have things her way
Hattie: What my unworthy opponent fails to realize is Sir Edgar has done a fantastic job. He has driven the ogres out, and he has put giants and elves to work as laborers and entertainers. Therefore, if it weren't for him, we wouldn't have today's thriving free-enterprise system.
Ella: It's only free because we've enslaved the poor creatures and they work for nothing. Edgar is a monster, and I don't hold out much hope for his nephew, either.
Hattie: Well that shows what you know aka nothing. Prince Char will be the greatest king ever. Right girls?
Ella: I wonder if my opponent has based her opinion on the prince's politics or how cute she thinks his butt is.
Hattie: Humph! Oh just admit your stupid and don't know what you're talking about
NiSSh: You, into the pot.
[Ella walks over to pot]
Slannen the Elf: Forget them!
Ella: [turns around in surprise at ogres] Who are you?
NiSSh: I am the ogre, NiSSh. We just did this. Didn't we just do this? All right. That's enough fun and games. Now keep your mouth shut...
[Ella closes her mouth]
NiSSh: ...and don't move.
Narrator: If there's one thing to learn it's you just can't go wrong / If you follow your heart, and end with a song.
[about Slannen the Elf and Brumhilda the Giant]
Ella: I've seen weirder couples... none that immediately come to mine, but still...
Slannen the Elf: Elves aren't that short you know. That's just a stupid myth created by that "Elves and the Shoemaker" story. Do I look small enough to fit in a shoe? Stinkin' Grimm Brothers!
Benny: I would have left her ages ago, except I love her so damn much. Plus, I have no legs.
Char: I suppose that dagger that you were ready to plunge into my heart was just an early wedding present.
Narrator: So, while her stepfamily scratched newly-found itches / Ella was off, glad to be away from the... witches.
Char: [Char swings by on a rope, tossing Ella a sword and grabbing one for himself] I can't believe I'm saving you, after you tried to kill me!
Ella: I didn't try to kill you.
Char: [to a member of the Red Guard trying to kill Ella] You stay away from her!
Char: [both of them fight back some guys] What, so that dagger you were about to plunge in my back was just an early wedding present?
Ella: [a guy goes to attack Ella, and Char fights him back. Benny gets turned into a pumpkin accidently. The Red Guards keep attacking] Okay, maybe I did try to kill you, but that wasn't me.
Ella: Okay, maybe it was me, but it wasn't my fault.
[Ella and Char duck right as a guard attacks, causing him to hit 2 guards behind them]
Ella: [Benny gets turned into a man and joins the fight] ... then Edgar found out about the curse and he ordered me to kill you.
[Char fights off a guy behind Ella]
Ella: And the only way I could think of to stop it was to break up with you, even though I'm pretty sure that you're the best thing that's ever happened to me.
[while still lookingn at Ella as she explains, Char fights a guy attacking him from behind]
Ella: And that crown he's about to put on your head...
[Ella helps with the guy behind Char]
Ella: It's a trick. It's poisoned.
[Ella ducks, as Char swings his stick around, hitting all three Red Guard attacking them]
Ella: [Ella stands up, looking around, rather shocked, at the men on the ground] Whoa.
Char: Edgar's trying to kill me?
Ella: Yes. I - hold on.
[Ella jumps up and kicks a Red Guard behind her, taking him out, rather swiftly]
Ella: [Ella's stepmother is appalled by the act, Heston moves through the crowd] Uh, Char, there's one more thing.
[Edgar throws a shield of of himself and stands. Char looks straight at Ella]
Ella: He killed your father...
Ella: [storms into the room] Drop that crown!
Edgar: You vile little girl!
Lucinda Perryweather: I have a no-return policy.
NiSSh: It will only hurt for a moment, I promise. I'm a fast eater.