Paris Morgan: I made you Al, I will work overtime to break you, Alvin!
Paris Morgan: Come down out of that tree.
Paris Morgan: You know, Al. There's something we've been avoiding all day. Something I think maybe we oughta do.
Alvin Johnson: I think you're right. This may sound kinda silly. How do we do it?
Paris Morgan: [laughs] Well... just go for it. Ya know?
[they turn and look at each other, Paris expecting Al to kiss her]
Alvin Johnson: We'll break up first thing tomorrow morning in the hallway, so everyone can see. I mean make a big scene, but a dignified scene 'cause you know we got to protect our reps.
Alvin Johnson: Morning dime, pieces!
Aretha Johnson: Mama! Alvin's taking drugs!
Mia: This ain't Burger King! You can't always have it your way!
Alvin Johnson: [about Paris Morgan] She's like frappachino with hips.
Walter Colley: With mint hot fudge and mint whipped cream.
Chuck Mattock: Clearly Alvin isn't masturbating enough.
Walter Colley: Well, thank God i don't have that problem. Holler at ya boy
[puts out hands for daps]
Kenneth Warman: [looks at Walter's hand] I'm not touching that.
Alvin Johnson: Popularity is so much better than being a social leper.
Paris Morgan: Popularity is so much better than being a social leper. Popularity is a job, Al, not a privilege. It's nothing but work and worries. Work to get in. Work to stay in. Get a clue.
Aretha Johnson: [after seeing Al's makeover for the first time] Urkel has gone gangsta.
Chuck Mattock: [when Chuck, Ken, and Walter first see Paris and Alvin sitting together at lunch] It doesn't add up. It doesn't make sense.
Walter Colley: He cleans her pool. Well, I wanna clean pools now if I get to hang out with Paris Morgan. And I'll clean the bathtub, too.
[Walter and the guys crack up]