Calendar Girls (2003)

John Alderton: John

Photos 

Quotes 

• [discussing the calendar] 

  Chris : It *should* be bloody George Clooney. I mean, come the toss between Burnsall Church and George Clooney, I know which I'd rather wake up looking at.

  John : It is a Norman church, you know.

  Chris : I'm not disputing the loveliness of the church, John. It's the firmness of the buttocks I'm worried about.

• John : Tell you what. If you want me to speak at the WI you'd better get it in quick.

• John : Don't you go buying any benches.

  Annie : I'll do what the hell I like John Clarke.

  John : If you put a bench out here, it'll have "Leeds stuffed Arsenal" on it before you get back to the car.

• John : One seed in each pot, you're bloody useless you are.

• John : I'll model for you for nowt.

  Chris : No thanks John. I've just seen your backside and believe me, it's nothing like George's.

• Chris : Are you throwing my cake? That is disrespectful!

  John : It's very good.

  Chris : Course it's good. They don't give the May Wilkinson out lightly you know.