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  • Warning: Spoilers
    "Die Rosenkrieger", which means "The Rose Warriors", is a German television film from 2002, so this one is already almost 20 years old now, maybe actually even over 20 depending on when you read this review. However, I am not sure if the title translation is really accurate here because "Rosenkrieg" is a very German word that refers to a former couple now fighting for something, for example divorce regulations and all their love is gone. So the title is probably justfied by the two main characters being divorce lawyers, but at the very same time it is not accurate because the two never were a couple themselves. Now with focus on the basics, it can be added that this film runs fro 1.5 hours like the vast majority of other German television releases and the film was made by two Ulrichs: director Ulrich Stark and writer Ulrich del Mestre, who is not just German despite his Spanish sounding name, but even from my city Berlin. The latter is already over 80 now, so was in his 60s back then already when he worked on this movie's screenplay. But despite the old age, he is not retired for very long. Director Stark is retired for much longer although he is slightly younger than his writer here. As for this duo, however, looking at all the other stuff they worked on ("Tatort", "Das Traumschiff", "Kreuzfahrt ins Glück", "Um Himmels Willen" etc.), it becomes very very clear that this film we have here was really doomed from the start. You should not expect talent here. You should not expect creativity here. You should absolutely not even expect a mediocre movie. This is miles away from that on the quality scale. It is also nowhere near being a weak film either. It is just plain horrible. This is allso confirmed by the fact that Jutta Speidel plays the central female charcater. She is always bad. In every film she is in. I will say a few more words about her later on. But it is an absolute mystery why she got cast for lead roles all the time. She has recognition value maybe. Maybe she even looks mildly attractive for her age, although there is a lot of make-believe to that too with her coffee-selling gigolo. She is younger than I thought. Here she was still in her 40s. Somehow I thought she would be older. But then again, age should not be a factor here at all and I agree with those who say it should be all about talent. Speidel is the epitome of the complete absence of talent. Luckily for her, they found an actress here who is just as bad, maybe even worse, to play Speidel's character's best friend. This would be Daniela Ziegler. I am not sure if she is related to Regina Ziegler the personification os crappy German television films, but the two would fit together very well because Daniela Ziegler could not act a subtly convincing scene if her life depended on it. Always over the top in her desperate attempts to play a self-confident female character. Her generalization about men when the struggling guy talks about his problems to her is as despicable as the comments she makes about a considerably younger lover and the size of his genital. Unreal stuff really. This film is incredibly anti-male too. Like they frequently are when it comes to German small screen releases. If they guys are lucky, they are just there to serve the females and be kind to them, so they are accepted as a romantic interest, but usually they are incredibly needy losers are despicable scum that are not deserving at all of the superbly interesting women in the movies.

    This is true here as well. Shame though that Speidel does not have 1% of the class required to make this seem realistic. And does not have 0.01% of the talent to make it seem credible and trick us into believing she does. There was one minor moment here, just a really quick random inclusion and one scene that was probably supposed to show us how fit the character still is and how much of an interesting life she has, namely the scene when we see Speidel's character hit a strike at the local bowling alley. Her reaction to said strike was the single most embarrassing display of "likable arrogance / self-confidence" I have seen in a long time. And I have seen a lot. I literally had goosebumps because of how bad it is. The biggest question for this film is why oh why is it still shown after almost 20 years. This is what ARD etc. force you to pay a monthly double-digit fee for. This outdated garbage. Although, in fact, it was already dated back in 2002 because of how unrealistic, uncreative, unauthentic etc. it is. By the way, the male lead is Gunter Berger. May he rest in peace. At least, he was not as bad as Speidel here, but that is already nothing that requires too much talent. Julia Brendler is/was pretty stunning back then for sure and she has more screen time in the second half. Of course, when the entire lie about the parents becomes known to her, she is sad and mad, but still accepts Speidel's character as somebody to give her solace and still see her as a friend immediately because of what she did. And the whole idea about how he lied to her about the parents is something so absurd. Impossible. The first meeting because Speidel's and Brendler's character is also so bad, like when she says accidentally the wrong first name or how Brendler's character all out of nowhere elaborates in the car about what would be if he had no parents. Or no contact with his parents. Or if they were divorced etc. Really only for story purposes. For failure story purposes that is. Never would have happened like this in real life. And do they really want us to believe that the two main characters become a coupl in the end? With all they said abbout each other before that. About their physical appearance most of all. And as for Speidel's character, I guess they forgot to make her look simple the way she was described in terms of her clothes because it is Speidel. Let's just not care about the story. Oh yeah, the parking lot conversations were also utterly cringeworthy. Enough said, I guess. No matter where you look here, this film is a complete mess. Something positive? That they did not make a sequel. Oh yeah, Ziegler's character also gets a lover at the end, a new love interest, because all the female "likable" characters have to for reasons of unrealistic happy endings. To make the mostly female audiences happy. This is just such a horrible movie. I really hope people see through this and the already rather low rating here on imdb is still way too high. Protect yourself and keep your distance the two or three times it is still shown here every year. It's two or three times too many. This one never should have been made.