Tales from the Crapper (2004 Video) User Reviews (15)

What a mess... What a stupid and gloriously entertaining mess...

[capkronos · 5/10 · 10 April 2007]

Once upon a time, Troma head honcho Lloyd Kaufman gave former Playboy Playmate of the Year India Allen a quarter of a million dollars to make two features shot on "crappy digital video" and starring leggy cult queen Julie Strain. What she returned to Lloyd was unfinished and deemed unreleasable (unreleasable by Troma must be very bad, indeed!), lawsuits followed from both parties and finally after several years of toying around with the material (re-shoots, comic dubbing a la WHAT'S UP TIGER LILLY?, added framing devices…) we get the mess that is TALES FROM THE CRAPPER. There's no doubt that this is a dire production, but the new voice-overs poking fun at the features are at times hilarious and Lloyd lucked out that the crappy film footage contained the entertaining pulchritude of Strain. It took me awhile to warm up to Julie, but thanks to her performances in this and DELTA DELTA DIE! (also 2003) I now realize when she's in her element (and has a big enough role) she can make even the most rancid low-budget production worth sitting through.

The first tale is titled (or re-titled) "The Case of the Melon Heavy Alien Man Eater" and features Julie as Ivana Dance, a cop so tough that she shoves a road cone up a rapist's ass. After busting some pedestrians (and waving her gun around in the air, firing shots that hit cars, cats and people in new comic sound effects), she infiltrates a series of strip clubs like "The Shimmering Beaver" to find out who or what has been killing the dancers and patrons. The culprit turns out to be a mantis-headed alien stripper monster who does such things as ripping a guy's penis off and shoving it through his head and forcing a urinal cake down a guy's throat in the restroom. Kevin Eastman (aka the guy who created the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and also aka Mr. Julie Strain) plays her murdered partner and India Allen herself plays a reporter. Julie has a weird sex scene with a blow-up sex doll that turns into a woman (Arban Ornelas) who then goes to work at the club (??) One of the other strippers is played by B movie regular Antonia Dorian (DINOSAUR ISLAND), who through new dubbing becomes a transsexual stripper with a bad case of flatulence named Larry (I bet Antonia was just thrilled when she saw this).

The second story is a very (read: very) dumb tale of a teen boy who wants to go to college, but whose financial aid has fallen through. He and two pals (including the fat guy from the TV show "Lost") then decide to throw a fundraiser party to help raise tuition. They pander on street corners handing out fliers and inviting complete strangers to their home to see three kinky strippers (I guess the proceeds from that little function MAY take care of a semester's worth of books... if they're lucky). The dancers (Julie Strain, Arban Ornelas and Masuimi Max) are actually lesbian vampires who plot to suck down as much blood as possible, and after an lengthy all-girl sex scene, they go to the party and start their feeding frenzy. Ron Jeremy works the door at the party and newly added scenes feature Trey Parker (as Juan Schwartz) telling a long bad-taste incest joke and guest victims like Ted Raimi (using the alias Bill Ferguson and getting anally raped to death), Trent Haaga, Ramzi Abed, Doug Sakmann and Eli Roth. Julie's half-sister, Lizzy Strain, also shows up at the party, as does the band New Found Glory.

The two tales are frequently interrupted by new Troma vignettes and linking footage (which aren't nearly as funny as the stuff in the two stories). Lloyd and Michael Herz (played by big guy Joe Fleishaker) tell the history of Troma studios in one segment (where Debbie Rochon pops up in a cameo as the unheard-of feminist Troma co-founder Eva Lipshitz). Also, Lloyd shows up on Hollywood Boulevard with a trash bag over his head as "The Crap Keeper," rambles on and on and on and eventually interviews James Gunn (a former Troma alum who went on to script SCOOBY DOO and the remake of DAWN OF THE DEAD). There's also a long and tasteless threesome with "Kelly Powers" (Suzi Lorraine), Isabelle Stephen and tranny Jamie Greco thrown in for no apparent reason. Debbie shows up a second time as a film editor who rips her top off and gets to work re-cutting the second story.

This is one DVD release that truly takes pleasure in scraping the bottom of the barrel.

TOO MUCH CRAPPER, NOT ENOUGH FILM

[nogodnomasters · 5/10 · 13 January 2019]

The film starts out with a lame introduction followed by a second lame introduction. Lloyd Kaufman and Michael Herz need to release no one watches the movies to see their faces or hear their stupid monologue filled with dumb homosexual bits. The film could have also eliminated the feces material/jokes and just stuck to an occasional fart joke. Real movies don't need introductions.

Like a "Family Guy" episode, there is no real plot. The movie is about silicon strippers, mostly removing just the tops. Julie Strain removes her bottoms. It appears that the scenes in the movie of her at home were actually shot in her home. The movie boasts a certain type of vision which is nothing more than a small screen insert with a stripper. Loosely the plot of the first film is an alien space craft comes to earth and an alien is killing people at a strip club. Julie goes undercover to investigate. In the second film lesbian vampires strip for college boys as a fund raiser.

There is satire in the film. It makes fun of news, news reporters, cops, and Oliver Stone. Much of the humor was done with voice overs, aka "What's Up Tiger Lily" style as sexy dancers sound like they are males, and males at the strip club are made to sound gay. This worked fairly well as did Julie Strain as a "Dirty Harry" cop. Unfortunately there wasn't enough of the good stuff, so they used "crap" (literally) to fill in.

More nudity in the DVD extras, including more of Julie Strain. For those who can't get enough of Ms. Strain, I suggest watching the DVD extra of "Delta Delta Die."

Oh Lloyd what were you thinking?! Rotten even by Troma standards!

[Foreverisacastironmess123 · 4/10 · 4 February 2019]

I always knew Troma studios were all about the trash gore and female nudity but this 'movie' was just so hopelessly sloppy and disjointed it was nothing short of pathetic! It's just awkward to watch and really not very fun at all, it's a far cry from the really rocking and anarchic films that they did like Terror Firma, Tromeo and Juliet and the good Toxie movies, those flicks technically weren't vastly different from this one in terms of budget and acting, but they had a kind of fun crazy drive and energy to them, and they were mainly funny because of the fearlessness and enthusiasm of the actors, but this hack-job monstrosity is what I'd call the work of zombie Troma, a studio that in the case of flicks like this, is a shambling corpse of what it could be when it really got its act together and made something actually worth watching, but this is just endless scenes of obnoxious silly gross fart and squelchy noises and overly sexual jokes and situations with curvaceous hot girls taking their clothes off, from what I could gather the movie's main appeal would be to excitable young guys because it sure wasn't very funny, only moment that did make me laugh was the Trey Parker cameo! The majority of it though was just disgusting and brutal and weirdly very dull.. To me it's really not worth bothering with, it may score points for the odd lucky hilarious touch or the many sexy ladies on display, or just for the sheer weirdness, but overall it's a very weak nonsensical endeavour with no real story and just loud gross out nonsense constantly shoved in your face, with Lloyd Kaufman popping up to plug his book every now and then, and it doesn't help at all that it's completely aware of how awful and stupid it is and even tells you so, several times, but all the self-deprecation in the world can't make a bad movie into a good one! It's a bit frustrating because I like Troma and the spirit of what they represent at their best, but this is just plain terrible. Oh and don't be deceived by the cover art no matter what you do, because this sure ain't no fun Creepshlw type flick, it's an anthology in as loose a term as I've ever seen. Just very poor all around and just not fun enough, I love ya Lloyd but you can do better than this, this deserves nothing less than to be flushed!!! X

Troma Kinda Tried......

[drhackenstine · 17 January 2005]

I'm not sure what to think of this movie. I did enjoy it's low-budget crudeness. I liked the over-dubbed voices. I liked the chintzy special effects. And I liked Lloyd's Crapkeeper costume. But I felt that this movie was at times a strain on the brain to watch. It was a definite step down from Citizen Toxie and Terror Firmer. Yet it was better than The Killer Condom or any of those boring Witchcraft movies Troma is re-releasing. I liked the many cameos and the insipid story lines and the non-stop rude attitude the film portrayed, but at the same time I felt it was hard to watch because of the muddy filming, crappy editing and the sloppy way the stories were brought together. When I talked to Lloyd a year ago, he was quite excited about getting this released. Sorry to say, I was expecting more. But I guess I shouldn't complain. I know I could sit through it again. Two and a half stars.

Trash! Even if you accidentally drank the bong water, you still know this sucks

[danielladue · 1/10 · 6 December 2019]

I've reviewed many films in many genres (But a lot of horror, because there is so many levels). This is flat out trash that made me angry that it ever fouled my eyes and ears. I've seen a ton of low budget films, but this is by far the worst. Acting, music, directing, script, and voice acting is just awful. It is what happens when you give a stoned teenager a camera... Perhaps someone will mention that I don't understand that this is satire, but I'm not mentally ill. Films Like Scary Movie 1 or Don't be a Menace while Drinking Juice in the Hood are solid examples of satire and spoof movies. This is just abusive to human senses. The jokes are less than Sophomoric. They are pre-school. How many times can a fart sound be used in one film? The visuals and audio are worse than the projects I made in school. Lastly, it has the cardinal sin of pretending to spoof or have any connection to Tales From the Crypt. The EC Comics are wonderful parts of our culture. The type of fun horror that can connect generations of people. Creepshow 1&2, as well as the TV show, Tales from the Crypt TV shows, and it's films are American staples. Many other films have followed in the EC Comics tradition with dignity like Cat's Eye, Tales From the Darkside movie, Trick R Treat, or even the ABC's of Death... Even if the makers want to spoof the anthology EC style, they could've reached for more quality like Tales from the Hood... The saving grace for this POS is supposed to be all the naked girls, but most of them are gross, have obvious plastic surgery, and probably are strippers in the poor sections of California. Why make your "hot girls" keep farting over and over? It wasn't funny the 1st time, and down right anger inducing the 500th time. I've never been so unimpressed. Might actually be the worst film I've ever seen. I probably spent more time and energy critiquing it than they did making it.

Cynical, witless garbage

[gridoon · 2/10 · 3 December 2007]

"Tales from the Crapper" is gory, disgusting, tasteless, offensive, lowbrow and scatological. But that's OK, I was prepared for all that from my previous Troma experiences. What I WASN'T prepared for is that it's also witless, unfunny and boring. Very little of the genuine anarchic spirit of films like "Class of Nuke'em High" has remained intact; in its place, we get ENDLESS fart jokes (to the point where you start wondering if Lloyd Kaufman is going senile, thinking that adults find loud farting so darn hilarious!) and a cynical, shameless exploitation of the viewer, who is essentially investing time and money to see a "film" that even Kaufman himself seems to know should never have been released in the first place. Oh yes, there is plenty of female nudity on display, but let's face it: the average porn film probably offers a better storyline, higher production values, funnier humor, and above all more RESPECT for its intended viewer than this atrocity.

P.S: Kelly Powers AKA Suzi Lorraine (the blonde lesbian student in the "How to make your own movie" segment) is one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen.

Stupidest movie I ever seen.

[feralasar · 1/10 · 11 January 2019]

I saw that movie a long time ago when I was way younger, and this is frankly one of the stupidest movies I have probably ever watched. I can't hardly remember most of it as it was very forgettable, but what I remember seeing was bad.

I mean to be fair, this wasn't meant to be a serious movie as it was meant to be funny, but it just ended up being not funny in slightest coming off as idiotic instead. The only thing that managed to be funny was the name, and a character called the ' crap keeper ', and that's it, everything else was stupid.

I mean I know troma/Lloyd Kaufman can make good movies as they'd made some movies I like or found very funny, but this one? Nope, I honestly say pass on this one, and check out his other movies besides this one.

Make's "Freddy got Fingered" feel like..well not a good movie, just less crappy

[movieman_kev · 1/10 · 23 September 2005]

Troma founder, Lloyd Kaufman is The Crapkeeper in this anthology film made up of two films that were such celluloid feces that Llyod tried to salvage them by combining the two into one anthology film and throwing in copious amounts of nudity whenever possible. Does it work? nope, it's still crap that I'd have to scrape off my boots if I stepped in it.Will anyone like this mess? Sure, Young teen aged mongoloids with the combined IQs of a Vienna sausage have to laugh at something, I guess. For those who have brains that are even semi-functioning steer clear though and watch something less insulting to your intelligence, even "Dude, Where's my car" would do.

My Grade: F

So Bad Its Good

[schmidtp-54221 · 4/10 · 29 December 2023]

I can't even remember why I watched this movie in the first place. Maybe because I was searching for Tales Of The Crypt and this came up and I thought it was a funny title. Could have been because Julie Strain was in it?

From the get go, this movie has all of the things Troma films are known for - bad acting, bad scripts, dodgy camera work and lots of nudity'

The films roughly an anthology (similar to Tales Of The Crypt) of three stories that all turn bad at the end (was it ever good?). The first is about a police detective investigating murders in a strip club. The second about the first turn on. The third is about a stripper party some frat boys hold that turns horribly wrong.

The acting and story line is extremely bad. That said, it's so bad it's good. I was laughing hysterically throughout with how stupid this movie is. There's also some lovely norks to pass the time. There's some well known faces throughout.

Don't expect too much from this. If you love B grade films (this might even go as low as C or D), then sit back for a wild ride of stupidity. I'm putting in the realms of "Kentucky Fried Movie", "Poultrygeist" etc. I'm sure it was never meant to set the world on fire. I'd even watch it again for how silly it was.

Tales From The Crapper? Yeah, you got that right!

[dworldeater · 4/10 · 30 January 2015]

As a fan of Troma, I thought this would be better. However, like Billy Bob Thorton's character in Bad Santa says, "They can't all be winners". The first film in this two film anthology series is unwatchable and stupid, even by the standards of Troma. The second film is better. It definitely is campy garbage, but amusing campy garbage that has cool cameos and makes fun of Hollywood's pretentiousness. Both of these films are short and the rest of the movie has Troma's Grand Poobah Lloyd Kaufman chewing up the scenery, making bad jokes and acting like an imbecile. Which would have been fine, but he does it for way too long and wears out his welcome quick. Tales From The Crapper does have plenty of boobage, gore, as well as an overdose of camp and super lowbrow humor. Most of what is contained here is not funny, or entertaining like a good bad film should be. It is just bad. There are plenty of other titles from Troma that are much better viewing choices. For example, in their own way films like The Toxic Avenger and Redneck Zombies are brilliant. I can only recommend this pile of crap to Troma's most die-hard of fans, who probably watched this 12 times already.

Two disasters turn into one funny movie

[HEFILM · 9/10 · 6 January 2006]

These were two video shot movies that Troama decided were horrible so in a desperate move turned into this one movie. Perhaps the bitterness on Troama's side helped spark the comedy, but for whatever reason this is very funny stuff with an inspired bit with "Oliver Stone" doing commentary during the movie. Lots of cameos, lots of use of the Lesbian Cannibal HoeDown song add to the fun. Trey Parker, Ted Raimi, Julie Strain etc etc....

One of the best of recent Troama releases. Yes it's all over the place, know that going in, the production quality, or lack of, becomes one of the many running jokes. Go with it and you'll be in for a good time.

The behind the scenes, frequently the best things about Troama releases are also above average this time around. I really think the anger they felt over these two lousy films helped drive them to, well not greatness, but drove them to "fix" this film in a way that's better than either of the films would have been as they were originally planned.

Troma Kicks A***** ONCE AGAIN

[ngwttintl · 24 February 2004]

Another BRILLIANT film from Troma. I'd goes as far as to say it's going to be the most unique film put out this year. The purpose of this film is hilarious in itself. According to the narrator THE CRAP KEEPER (played by Lloyd Kaufman, he better get an oscar nod for costume design) this movie was designed from the remains of two awful films they had made. As awesome as Troma is rather than putting out 2 boring BAD films they decided to make it one kicka** double feature. A double feature like no other, the adr work, narration, editing, and BONER-VISION make this one of Troma's finest gems. Lots of people will probably disagree, but these people have been cinematically brain washed. I enjoyed it more than Citizen Toxie, it was more from the hip, looser, as though it was pure creative freedom. Lloyd is the king of this stuff, he hasn't hung up his hat like Waters and so many others, he keeps exploring far away from the realms of safety.

The DVD shows this is much more than a film!

[Ton_O · 10/10 · 10 July 2006]

Therefore it is important to talk about the DVD release instead of just the film. Tales from the Crapper is a film that only one studio in the world could deliver. The one that has brought us innovative and original REAL independent films for 30 plus years now: Troma. This is truly a very special film because it manages to be certainly not my favorite of the Troma-productions, but released on a disc that because of what I just said is one of my most valued and favorite DVD's. Not only counting the countless Troma discs I own, but counting my entire collection of films. The film itself is the result of an ill fated plan to produce a television series to be directed by a director who was trusted with a substantial amount of money (especially for Troma) to make something wonderful and delivered a lot of unfinished and incomprehensible material before quitting (or being fired, I am not sure which at this moment). In order to prevent having to shove a vast investment down the toilet Lloyd Kaufman and Michael Herz decided to get together a team of directors and actors and use the material as the backbone of one movie. One movie that really consists of two, in the nice old Tales From The Crypt anthology fashion, hosted by the Crapkeeper played by Mr Kaufman himself. But, as I said, not quite my own favorite of all their movies. That is greatly due to a weird sense of discipline at the various sets, forgetting about the hard Troma rule of "no booze on the set" which was discovered by a furious Lloyd and other less respectable employees that Troma had at the time of the filming of the added scenes. All this made it all but impossible for Mr Kaufman to make a worthwhile product in the editing room. But Lloyd Kaufman is a genius, and with the troubled added scenes to an already misshapen start-product he crafted not much less of a masterpiece. The film itself is as good as circumstances would allow the most brilliant filmmaker to slice together and it is certainly highly entertaining, totally confusing, loaded with those elements that made Troma great and certainly unique and one of a kind. As a film itself, though, not as brilliant as many other Troma productions. The genius of Independent Cinema however made the DVD of this film so much more than a release of a film with some extra's. The film is, when push comes to shove, actually only a part of the entire DVD that in its whole is a document of the difficult situation serious filmmakers find themselves in having to survive in a world that is monopolized by the few Very Big Ones who don't really allow any other players on their market turf. A document of the problems one has when trusting people to be on the level, only to find out that freedom sometimes is something that is hard to live up to and realization that access to a Movie Budget when the Boss is not around can corrupt even those who should really know better. The brilliance of this DVD is that the film is not perfect, and that Lloyd KNOWS it, and doesn't want to make anyone think he believes it is. The full-length commentary is a show in itself (as is often the case with Mr. Kaufan's audio commentaries), mixing humor, sneers at those who deserve it and highly interesting information for anyone interested in Independent Film-making in such a fashion that watching the film again with this commentary straight after viewing it on its own merits is so interesting it is hard to stop. The feature-length documentary THE THICK BROWN LINE takes us behind the scenes at the various locations where Lloyd visits the sets only to sometimes take over and make the most of what he finds there. We see him somewhat disillusioned sometimes, different from his appearances in other Making Of Documents such as Fart of Darkness and Apocalypse Soon, both to be found in the must-own MAKE YOUR OWN DAMN MOVIE box set.

The added scenes with James Gunn (who started his career at Troma only to find success as a writer an now a director in Hollywood) and Trey Parker (again someone to start out with a Troma-released work, to later be a national hero with his South Park series) are entertaining and probably (as is much else on this release) a reason for obtaining this disc alone for anyone remotely interested in the work of these two characters. Loaded with much more than I could mention here (including a SECOND audio-commentary) this is one of the best Troma-DVD-releases.

Troma remix.

[ocosis · 10/10 · 2 January 2020]

Tales From The Crapper does exactly what it says on the tin. And it's done craptastically.

A wild and crazy romp.

[greatpix-1 · 8/10 · 12 September 2021]

I heard, from a good source, that someone in the production had made off with large parts of both films and so Troma did the best they could piecing them together to salvage what they could. Once you know this the shortcomings of the film aren't so terrible. It's still a campy, sexy Troma film with some good cameos.

What's a little funny is that it reminds me so much of the trials and tribulations that another film, 'The Creeping Terror', went through. I knew the daughter of the female lead from the film and we visited her mom who told me the whole story. Someone making off with the creature so they had to rush to build another, some of the tapes being lost, hence the narration.