24 March 2004 | Moonbeam1980
This is easily the worst movie I've ever seen, but it is the kind of awful that makes it oh so worth the price of admission. I have never witnessed worse acting all around as real-life couple Brandi Sherwood and Dean Cochran (how are those for porn names?) scrape the very bottom of the acting barrel to great comedic effect.
A summary of the plot is quite unnecessary, as it is really a horrible Jaws pastiche- think greedy mayor, disgruntled but ever-hopeful hero guy trying to protect his family and add a goofy subplot involving predictably nefarious Russian diamond-hunters and you get the idea. The film is basically a composite of pre-recorded shark footage from the Discovery Channel (in fact, most of these scenes are played SEVERAL times within a few minutes) meshed with fake looking death scenes. And oh, are there a lot of death scenes. I've never seen a higher body count in a shark movie, and I have made an effort to see as many as possible. Definitely a case of quantity reigning victorious over any semblance of quality, but I digress.
A more warranted review of this movie would detail the numerously ridiculous and consequently wonderful mistakes:
Wagner, a so-called shark expert, informs the mayor that these pesky sharks are related to the Jurassic sharks of 50 million years ago. News flash: The Jurassic period ended 145 million years ago.
Sharks do not growl.
It is rare to see Great Whites together, but I'll be damned if they aren't chilling with their bros all up in this Shark Zone in about every sequence.
During several of the attack scenes, you can see the flesh of some animal used as bait tied to a fishing line. Well, gee, no wonder Wagner is only batting about .010 in terms of saving the many hapless victims. I guess all of the budget was spent on erasing the Discovery Channel logo from the footage.
The final shark scene in the pool features a SURFBOARD with a shark painted on the bottom.
How could a Spanish ship crossing the Atlantic ocean sink in the Pacific outside of San Francisco? Must have been one hell of a storm.
During Wagner's dream, his wife is dragged out of the boat by a shark that has crashed through the bottom. She is dragged into the water but somehow manages to splash and drip water from her submerged hands and arms.
Overall, my feelings about this movie are mixed. While it offers countless thrills in terms of sheer laughable entertainment, the truly scrate-awful acting and egregious errors render it nothing short of the worst movie ever made.