Cheaper by the Dozen (2003)

Jacob Smith: Jake Baker

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jake : I heard you were dissing my family.

  Cooper : I don't even know your family loser.

  Mike : You do now!

  [Mike knocks Cooper's latte out of his hand] 

  Cooper : My latte!

• Jake : Dude, two words: need new skates.

  Kate : Dude, three words: paper route.

• Jake : Yeah, without you, we wouldn't be the twelve Bakers anymore. We'd be,

  [looks real serious] 

  Jake : eleven.

• Sarah Baker : Does anyone besides me think our "happier and stronger" life, is actually code for "nastier and suckier"?

  Mike : First dad forces us to move

  Jake : Then mom decides to become a career women and like, travel the globe

  Jessica Baker : And now, we have to take orders from Hank, the model/actor!

  Mark : And he hates kids too.

• Kate : [referring to Hank]  He's not a doorknob.

  Jake : He irons his jeans, Mom.

  Kate : Yeah that's weird.

• Tom : *All right. Enough is Enough. You're slacking on your chores. You're fighting in school*. Things are out of control. As of this moment, you are all grounded*

  Mike : What's grounded?

  Tom : What's grounded? I'll tell you what ground it is. Except for attending games, you go to school, you come home from school, you do your homework, you do your chores, you go to bed and that's it.

  Sarah Baker : But that

  Tom : Oh yes Sarah, I know that sucks, but that's the way it is!

  Jake : Does this mean we can't go to Dylan's birthday party?

  Tom : That's exactly what it means.

  Kim Baker : But we brought his presents already.

  Tom : *You are going to miss it

  [Kids are quiet] 

  Tom : Now, go to bed.

• Jake : Want to play catch with the football I got you?

  Dylan Shenk : My nanny'd have to check with my dad who'd have to check with my mom who'd say it was an inappropriate use of free time.

  Jake : Sounds like a "yes" to me. Go get it Mikey.